What's in a Name?

What's in a name?
  
That which we call a rose
By any other word would smell as sweet...


Name discussions with Pallavi have been frequent over the past week.  We've talked about our last name.  We've talked about Joie's name.  We've talked about middle names.  We've talked about Megan's middle name (which is her birth name).  We've talked about everyone else's middle names.  We've talked about nicknames.  We've talked about name pronunciations.  We've talked about family names.

You get the picture.  We've talked a lot about names.

And you probably already know where this is headed.

When name discussions turned to discussions of a name change for Pallavi, we relied on experience to guide us.  Becoming parents to an older child the second time around seems to have less of a learning curve. This time we already know that going through the name quest is empowering, a way to claim a new life and identity.  (Read the story of Joie's name change here.)

In the end...

Is that which we call Pallavi by any other name just as incredible, amazing wonderful, sweet...?

Yes.

So Pallavi would, were she not Pallavi call'd,
Retain that dear perfection which she owes.


Our family has chosen names by meaning, and for a girl who loves the meaning of her old name but wanted a new name, this was important to her also.

After a few days of trying different names, Gabriella stood out as a name she liked with a meaning which fit.

This morning she came to my computer and looked up the meaning again, just to be sure.


"Yup.  Gabriella.  That's it," she said confidently.
(Everything she says is said with confidence.)


Gab-ri-ell-a:  heroine of God; God is my strength.


This is a girl who loves God.

We've been cautious about introducing religion, but have noticed her responses to religion, particularly during this Christmas season when we are surrounded by symbols of religious significance.  Speaking of such symbols one evening, our new daughter described the statues in India that have spiritual significance and power to people there, then confidently stated how she always knew there was another God "with real power."


The idea of God has been growing in her heart and mind for years.

And the meaning doesn't stop there.

Pallavi:  bud; young branch or shoot

Gabriella Pallavi:  a heroine of God who is just starting to bloom.


Perfect.  A combination of two beautiful names with beautiful meanings for a very beautiful girl.

Will there be nicknames?

Most assuredly, yes.

We've tried several.

Gabby seems to be the one that is sticking...

And you know we'll keep you posted!

Christmas Day

Christmas Day was quiet (relatively speaking, of course).  Two days later Pallavi is saying, "Next year I want a big Christmas."  We're blaming it on the adoption agency.  They told us to plan small so it wouldn't be overwhelming.

(Maybe they had never lived with Pallavi.)

If you've followed our blog for longer than a year you know we have a fireplace correspondence tradition with Santa in our house.  The kids leave letters for Santa in the fireplace, and he usually responds with treats and a letter to let them know he got it.  Even as the kids have gotten older, the letters continue...

(After all, there's something in it for everyone.  Personally, I'm glad my kids humor me.)

This year Santa heard Pallavi would be here for Christmas.  Maybe it was all the kids asking for gifts for Pallavi in their letters to Santa?

Amazingly enough, the day before we left for Nebraska to meet Pallavi, Santa left a letter in our fireplace for her.

We delivered Santa's letter to Pallavi in Nebraska, and she let us know she already told Santa what she wanted:  an iPod Touch.  Nate, who was with us, immediately became concerned that he had waited until he was 12 to get an iPod Touch, and he had earned the money for it himself by mowing lawns...because Mom and Dad said no to asking Santa.  And even at 14 there are internet supervision restrictions to the iPod Touch.  There was unfair! written all over this one.

Tim and I weren't too worried.  We trusted the magic of fireplace correspondence.

But Nate took matters into his own hands.  I've got to say I was a little nervous when a letter I didn't know about showed up in the fireplace, but Santa scored again (Nate, you'll make a great dad one day), and gently broke it to Pallavi that Mom and had had contacted Santa on the "secret Santa phone..." (Yes, we also have one of those.) ...and according to the letter, we had told Santa that Pallavi could ask for an iPod Touch when she was "eleven or twelve."  

Pallavi was totally fine with this.  Turns out there's nothing like a personally addressed letter appearing in the fireplace to soften the blow.

Within five minutes, Pallavi had written back and changed her request to an iPod Nano (the same thing Joie had asked for) and Santa delivered!

(And today Tim spent most of the day downloading songs for all the kids on their various iDevices which makes him my hero.  Joie and Pallavi were getting bored with their selection of FM radio stations on their iPods, and when the radio stations stopped playing Christmas music, the selections drew even more complaints...  Anyone my age or older remember being thrilled by a gift of any electronic device that could pick up a radio station?)

Back to Christmas...

On Christmas Eve, Pallavi and Joie decided to sleep downstairs.  

Amazingly, they were asleep by 9:30 p.m...

We were in bed by midnight.

Then Joie was awake by 1:00 a.m...

Then asleep again by 2:00 a.m. (ish)...

Then Tim was up by 4:00 a.m.  I was not happy and somehow he knew to not wake up the kids!

Tim had to turn the light on to read, a sacrifice I was willing to make if it meant the kids weren't waking up...

But five minutes later I went to sleep in Pallavi's empty bed since she was still snoozing downstairs.

By 5:45 a.m. the kids were awake.  The goal was 6:00.

Close enough.

Waiting to come upstairs...

A thank you note from Santa...

And I didn't catch the Santa gifts on camera, but we did get a few shots:

The Mythbusters game from Grandma Susan was a hit!

Joie and Pallavi got Zu Zu Pets

Just a side note.  Don't ignore the label on Zu Zu pets that says Caution:  Please keep away from hair.  Somehow when Megan was holding Joie's Zu Zu pet it accidentally found Joie's hair.  (What would a caution label be if you couldn't test it?)  We unsuccessfully tried to detangle Joie from her Zu Zu pet, but eventually resorted to scissors.  You can't really tell.  It was only a small chunk of hair.  

And the best part of Christmas for me (drumroll please).  Present opening was over by 7:00 a.m. and with no assembly required gifts on the list, I took advantage of the kids being lulled into present la-la land and went back to sleep...until 9:30!  Best Christmas present ever!

We spent the afternoon at Tim's parents' house with all the cousins.  Pallavi has been sooooo excited to meet all her cousins, and wasn't disappointed.  She was introduced to the fun of Jarman Nerf gun wars and took her job of guarding hostages very seriously.  I know who I'll be calling if I need a bodyguard.

Then another great Christmas gift:  That night we had planned to go to bed early.  Everyone was tired and we had church the next morning.  

But Megan, Joie, Pallavi and I ended up just talking.  Bedtime?  What bedtime?

I'm blessed with girls who have wise souls.  Their kid bodies are deceiving.  I felt like I was talking to three of my best friends.  I didn't want it to end.  

I've decided my "mom job" is to provide the container in which they'll grow to adulthood.  They need love, safety, and a healthy home, but every day they lead me.

We love all our friends and family, and wish you all a belated Merry Christmas.  We hope your day was blessed!

Pictures from Tim's SD card

Good thing Tim carries a camera with him too.  I downloaded his memory disc the other day and found some fun pictures...

In October Tim had a work trip to Orlando.  I would have liked to join him, but the timing didn't work out.  He did get to meet up with my parents a few times that week.  It was so hard to have him there and not be there myself!

And he kept calling me from Disney World.

Work?  Really?

Hard at work...for real this time, except how serious can you be about work wearing elf ears?

...Then last week Tim stopped to get a haircut while he was running errands with the girls.  

He hadn't been informed that if you stop by a salon with girls they won't leave without some pampering.  Both girls got their hair braided.

Loving the attention...

Ahhhhhh...

Look at me!

Holding so still...

Both girls looked great when they were finished and also talked Tim into stopping for milkshakes.  

(Dad is such a push over.)

Reindeer Food

A neighbor gave us sparkling reindeer food to spread outside so the moonlight would cause the food to sparkle and lead the reindeer to our house.

But the dogs ate the reindeer food!

(So Pallavi made more.)

Start with oats and carrots...

Add sparkles and an apple...

Sprinkles will do if you don't have glitter.

Now pink...

Done!

Just a few more sparkles.

We hope the reindeer find our house tonight!

Welcome Home

After our unexpected delay, we flew home Sunday morning...Nebraska to Utah via Minneapolis.  We're figuring out there are few direct routes between Nebraska and Utah.

But eventually we arrived home.

A welcome home sign from the Jarman cousins.  There's a star for each cousin.  Pallivi, who is super excited to have so many cousins, loved her sign.

The face says:  It's cold out here.  Can we go back inside already?

Pallavi wasted no time unpacking.  She set up her room, then found the TV.  After a few minutes of watching TV she came and asked me if we had white paper.  I helped her find some and she made these signs for her door:

So there you have it.  A room and rules...

(And a very happy family.)

It feels great to be home!

December 17th and 18th

 Pallavi had school Friday, including saying good-bye to her friends.  We found the Omaha Zoo while waiting.  Good thing a lot of the exhibits were indoors.  It was COLD!

This guy didn't take his eyes off us the whole time we were there.  We were really glad there was glass between us and him!

We joined Pallavi's class at 2:00 for a farewell party.

Saying good-bye to friends.

And good-bye to Mrs. McNeill

On Saturday we stopped at Winter Quarters before heading to the airport.

Trying out the handcart...the sister missionary put rocks under the wheels to make it harder for them to pull.

First family picture

Then it was off to the airport where we checked 6 heavy bags filled with Pallavi's belongings, went through TSA security, then sat to wait to board our flight.  A few minutes later the announcement came that our flight was cancelled.  The next two hours was spent sitting around and waiting in lines to find a flight that could take all 7 of us to Salt Lake City.  The next possibility was the next day, so we reclaimed our bags, caught a shuttle to the hotel, did some laundry and spent the rest of the day swimming.  As much as we love family togetherness, we're ready to go home!

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you tomorrow.  You're only a day away! 

Initials

It seems like initials have been a theme lately.

F.N.U. = First Name Unknown.  Pallavi's first name really isn't unknown.  It's Pallavi.

But she doesn't have a last name.  F.N.U. is a placeholder group of initials and Pallavi was used as her surname on her passport.  The airlines had a bit of a hard time reserving a seat for someone with no last name.  Certainly we're not the first parents who have traveled with a child from an orphanage.  And when we said so they accommodated.

And then there's KYHFOOTY (ky-foo-tee).

Keep Your Hands Feet and Other Objects To Yourself.

I heard about this particular acronym from a 7 year old boy with ADHD.  We were in a therapy session talking about some problems he was having in school.  I asked him what he does to stay out of trouble and he said "kyhfooty."  It was the funniest sounding word I had ever heard from a 7 year old and it stuck with me long enough to find out from his mother what it meant.  I've heard other elementary aged clients also refer to KYHFOOTY since then, so it's a word that seems to be making the rounds.

It came to mind again today when what seemed like fun to an energetic younger sister was testing the patience of older siblings.  You'll be happy to know that KYHFOOTY has worked it's magic for the time being and peace is restored (sort of).

And Pallavi is interested in names right now, and has learned that "Joie" is really "DJ" or Diana Jo.  Tonight in the hotel pool she became PJ (Pallavi Jarman) and Megan was MJ.

DJ, PJ, and MJ invented a triple splash jump...only one near drowning.  Other than that everyone was fine.

First Day As A Family

 Last minute we decided to take everyone to Omaha to pick up Pallavi.

Tim few into Omaha Wednesday night with Joie and Jeran (who got to fly first class because the plane was full).

Thursday I flew to Omaha with Nate and Megan.  (We flew with a basketball team and had to sit separately because the plane was crowded...Megan got to sit in the middle of the basketball team and felt very small.)

We arrived just in time to drop our things at the hotel and go to Pallavi's school to pick her up.  She was surprised to see the whole family!  She introduced us to her class and friends...

That night we went out to dinner as a family.  Pallavi chose the same restaurant we ate at last week.  

The wait was over 30 minutes...

Here she is thrilled to be waiting...

And waiting...

Finally!  Dinner!

Can you believe Nate sat by the girls in the car?  Pallavi is liking her big brother, and he loves the attention.

Any other sister would have been pummeled for this.  The expressions on Megan and Joie's faces are proof enough.  

Exhaustion was a huge part of our day.  

...Turns out Pallavi hasn't been sleeping much either.  It felt great to be together and just relax!

The Dark Pink Room

Tim worked hard this weekend on Pallavi's dark pink room.

The solution to painting a room dark pink...wainscoting.

The solution to the "dark red" being combined with the dark pink...haven't discovered that one yet.  

But I'm hopeful that an old neighbor who makes vinyl lettering can do some in a red that won't clash with the  pink.

Oops.  Paint spill...

(I finally got out the scissors and gave the carpet a haircut.)

Hanging out in Pallavi's room...

If you hang out too long you'll end up being dad's helper.

And if you work hard and ask nicely, you might even get to sleep in your sister's new room!

Meeting Pallavi

Tonight we finally met Pallavi.  After spending some time looking at the book we made her (she brought it with her), we went to pick out paint.

When she said dark pink, she meant dark pink.  And red.

Can't wait until all of us are in the same place at the same time!

Pallavi has a cell phone.  

Who knew technology could be bonding?  

Nate added our numbers for her, and it didn't take long for the three of them to be texting each other.  

A few minutes later I got a text.  

Mom I like you.

Turns out through the evening what she couldn't say in person, she could say in text.  It was a great icebreaker.

Then back to the hotel for a few minutes so she could see where she'll be with us next week.  

Future sisters bonded over a love of cookies.

A week from today we'll be here again... 

And pick her up at the agency again....

This time forever. 

And I Want My Room To Be Dark Pink!

I know...two blog entries in one day.  I'm finding this is the easiest way to share our updates and news...

Tonight I ran some errands and left my phone at home.  I got home and had two voicemails.  One was from the adoption agency director just covering logistical items.  The other one caught me completely off guard.

"Hey Mary.  This is Pallavi...the one you going to adopt..."  Then a message to call her back.

We hadn't talked about phone calls with the agency director or caseworker, but Pallavi took matters into her own hands.  She had already had a conversation with Tim before she called us.


I played it again for the kids...at least three times, then we called her back.

"Hi Pallavi.  This is Mary."


"Oh, hi Mary..."
(Like we've talked a hundred times before.)

Then getting straight to the point.
"Is it ok if I call you and your husband Mom and Dad?"


We hadn't spoken before today.

The confidence in her voice was impressive.  On speaker phone she chatted comfortably in her British-Indian accent with her new family.

We sent her a get-to-know-us scrapbook earlier, and she had literally memorized everything about her new family.

"I hear I'm going to have a lot of cousins!"  
She can't wait to meet all of them.

"And when your family goes to the farm I want to ride a horse.  Is there a horse there?"
Joie's turn to respond.
"Uh...yeah..."
(Anyone met River?)
"Ok then.  I know how to ride horses."
Me this time.  "Really.  Have you ridden a horse before?"
"Yes.  I rode horses in India."
(Love how she says "In-dia" in two syllables instead of three.)

More small talk, then the words we won't forget
"And I want my room to be dark pink!"

We had told the caseworker earlier we would take her to Home Depot or Lowe's to pick a paint color while we were visiting this week.

Pallavi was way ahead of us.

I love that she's not shy.

This finally seems real.  Our bags are packed.  Nate and Megan travel with us to meet her.  Jeran and Joie travel with us next week to bring her home.  Tonight the kids who aren't going packed letters, pictures and candy to send.

We can't wait!

Broken Roads

I'm sitting here in my messy house, needing to get ready to go meet our soon-to-be daughter.  I can't even concentrate long enough to do the dishes, and I think I've gone downstairs three times to change laundry without actually getting it done.  And yet somehow by tomorrow at this time we'll be leaving for the airport...  Nebraska in December...good thing we've got a great reason!

Have you ever heard the song "Bless The Broken Road" by Rascal Flatts?

I heard it again this morning, and found myself alone in my messy, neglected house crying, partly because of the broken roads of our lives, but mostly because that broken road has been blessed.

I set out on a narrow way, many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you.


A divorce.  Certainly a heartbreaking broken road, difficult and painful for Tim to travel.

Difficulties with pregnancies and deliveries.  Another broken road.  But not the end.  Somehow from that broken road grew two incredible boys.

A birth mother holding a tiny baby, knowing she couldn't take care of her, and a long plane ride staring into the eyes of a stranger who delivered that baby into the arms of more strangers.  Broken roads leading to new roads.

And more broken roads that seemed like dead ends.  Would-be adoptions that weren't, leading to acceptance of the road we were on.

And August 18, 2007.  The day that certainly felt broken to all who knew Nick, Ruth and Audrey, especially to their DJ (a.k.a. Joie).  That broken road felt like the end.

The day Joie came home from the hospital, the night before the funerals of her family, she looked so lost.  As she walked into the strange place that would be her home for the rest of her life she collapsed into the big overstuffed chair in our living room and softly started to sing:


"Jesus take the wheel.  Take it from my hands.  Cause I can't do this on my own..." ("Jesus, Take the Wheel" by Carrie Underwood)

And He did.  And here we are.

I realized this morning that if we hadn't traveled that broken road, we wouldn't be here, in a place where intersecting with another broken road feels almost comfortable.  This time the road beneath us feels sure and complete, but to Pallavi, the road that lead her to us has been a very difficult and broken one.

Today my heart is filled with gratitude for a Heavenly Father who can turn broken roads into blessings, and who knows my road and leads me down it every day (even when I think I'd prefer a detour).

...This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That lead me straight to you.
("Bless The Broken Road" by Rascal Flatts)


Countdown to Pallavi:  
Two days until we meet her.  
Ten days until we bring her home.

Sleepy Ballerina

I know this doesn't look like a ballet performance shot, but it's all I've got...that problem of trying to get me and my camera in the same place at the same time.

Joie was getting ready for bed and wanted me to take a picture of her make up and curly pony tails.  

She was a doll in the doll dance, and did great!  She's a natural performer.  She's completely "on" when she's in front of a crowd.  I told her this after the performance, and she said, "I'm just really good at putting on my game face."

We love this cute game face!