Spring Soccer

Last night the girls were outside practicing soccer for their games today.  We laughed at the snow storm that wasn't, and were ready for a soccer filled Saturday...

Then woke up to six inches of snow on the ground this morning...and the soccer ball right where they left it last night.

Due to our snowier-than-normal spring, Megan's team has had to cancel 3/5 games; Gabby's team cancelled 2/5 (she plays later in the day), and Joie is now 1/3 for her team.  At this rate we'll be playing make-up soccer in July.

But what's that they say about Utah weather?  If you don't like it wait five minutes?  

Same ball.  Same yard.  Same day.  Gabby and her friend had been playing soccer and went on a scooter ride when this picture was taken.

Then they came home because it was snowing so I looked outside again, and sure enough...the five minute rule applied.

Yes, those white flecks are snow.

We're hopeful that spring is on it's way.  Meanwhile, the snowpack in the mountains is the highest in almost 30 years, and at some point it all has to come down.  The lakes, rivers, and streams are already full, and if the snow in the mountains has no where to go...

Well, let's just say that kind of scenario turns soccer fields (and a lot of other places) into swimming pools.  

We hope not...but 6 inches of snow on April 30th might mean that Mother Nature has other plans.

Heroes

"A hero has faced it all: he need not be undefeated, but he must be undaunted."

This guy is one of my heros.  He's my younger brother, Joe.  This picture was taken in Afghanistan where he is currently serving as a flight medic in the United States Army.

Joe's family recently received Army Family of the Year (2010) Award.  Under the most difficult of circumstances, Joe stands up for what he believes, and finds compassion in his heart for everyone.  His wife and his young family continue to reach out to other military families, even with their husband and father deployed.

In the past few days I've been thinking there is a hero in all of us.  When difficult things happen, we can respond either as helpless, entitled beings or as heroes, who remain undaunted even when we feel defeated.

Heroes:

Joe's wife, who worries about health problems, both her own and those of her children.

My sister in Alabama who no longer recognizes the Alabama neighborhood she used to drive in and out of numerous times a day.  She is thankful to have gas in her car and a generator...and her family.

Another sister who has seen tragedy numerous times over the past several months, and with her husband reaches out in their own pain to another family who is hurting with them.

And this kiddo...

My oldest son who battles allergies and numerous other related health problems at an age when a kid wants nothing more than to just be normal.

Who keeps getting himself in trouble but is wise beyond his years and witty beyond description.  

And who has a kind and gentle heart just like his dad.

At various times moms struggle with children (thankfully never all at once).  I struggle a little with this kiddo lately, but as long as we can keep our perspective about us...

So I had a conversation with him this afternoon about heroes...

His heroes include: 

Those on the NBC series of Heroes (because they fly), 

And various other uncles and family members who exhibit such qualities as:

bravery

leadership

service

caring

I told him he reminds me a little of Joe, when Joe was his age.

(And since Joe grew up to be one of my heroes, I have high hopes for Nate.)

Best Laid Plans

Flexibility is our motto around here.

There is a Latin proverb that states, "It is an ill plan that cannot be changed."  

With five children in three different schools, two parents with job schedules that change randomly, pets, cars, a house, a yard...

You get it.  There's a lot of potential for things to go off plan, and a high need for flexibility.


But there are some days that plans can't change.  And if they do...

Well, never mind.  They just can't change, and that's that, because I said so and I'm the mom!

Today's plan:

• Tim go to work at 3:00...work until 11:00.
• Mary work until 1:30.
• Go to the store to buy soccer treats and Activity Day snacks.
• 2:15:  Pick up Nate from school
• 2:30:  Arrive at Gabby's school with Indian clothes, bangles, and bindis (for the class), so that Gabby can have her Star Student moment.
• 2:55:  School out, snacks, and sometime before 3:40 get keys to the church, and get snacks ready for Activity Days.
• 3:40:  Pick up Activity Day girls that need a ride.
• 3:50:  Arrive at church to unlock and set-up for Activity Days 
• 4:00:  Start Activity Days (someone coming to teach the girls yoga...ahhhh...feel the relaxation.)
• 4:50:  Finish yoga and hand out healthy snacks (because that's what you eat when you do yoga.)
• 5:00: Leave the church, rush home, change to soccer clothes, gather soccer snacks.
• 5:30:  Megan's soccer practice
• 5:30:  Joie's soccer game 
• 6:30:  Middle school parent teacher conferences
• 7:30:  Crash...maybe eat if there's enough energy left.

Today's actual events:

• Worked until 1:30
• Bought various snacks before picking Nate up at 2:15
• Nate was 5 minutes late walking out of the school, and gets in the car with a swollen, hurting-so-bad-he-won't-use-it right wrist and a story that made no sense about how he was hurt.
• Arrive at the school at 2:40...Ten minutes late but still enough time for Gabby to change into Indian clothes and field questions about India to her class for 10 minutes (her choice as something to do for star student).  The class claps; she gets her moment, and everyone wants a bindi, even the boys...which they use to stick to various parts of their faces, hands, ears...I even saw one kid trying to stick it on his tongue.
• Arrive home later than usual because we talked too much to too many people leaving the school.
• Girls go inside to change for yoga while Nate and I are on the phone in the car with the high school vice-principal trying to trace what happened...not a whole lot of luck.
• Phone call to Tim to discuss whether or not to take semi-injured child to Urgent Care for an x-ray. "If I can get the girls to yoga, and leave the other Activity Days leader in charge, I can take Nate for an x-ray," I say.  (This next part is me being delirious...)  "Then," I say, "If they're really fast at Urgent Care..." (told you I was delirious.)   "...I'll be to Joie's game at 5:30."  This is where Tim said something about me sounding stressed (at least he didn't say delirious), and, "I'm taking a sick day, and I'll take Nate to get an x-ray."
• Picked up girls on time and we got to the church by 3:53 p.m.
• The key to the church didn't work...  That's ok.  It's a beautiful day.  We'll do yoga on the lawn.  (Told you we were flexible.)
• Another person arrives who has a key...  Yeah!
• It's 4:20 by the time everyone arrives, but we get started (only two girls hid in the church), and peace and tranquility reigned for the next 30 minutes...  Well actually it was only for about 28 1/2 minutes, and it was just kind-of, sort-of tranquil because girls kept giggling at poses...and the eagles in the eagle poses kept trying to attack the other eagles...  But for 28 1/2 minutes I almost forgot that my perfectly planned day was nearly foiled, and all was right with the world.
• Sometime during the last 2 1/2 minutes of yoga I wrenched my back.  Actually, it was sort-of wrenched last week, but it had been feeling better so I did yoga.
• Ouch, ouch, ouch!  Owie, ow owwww!  ...Keep moving...inhale...exhale...(ouch!)...lay flat on the floor...(ahhhhh...if I could just stay here...maybe when I sit up it will be a dream)...nope...(ow!)...standing...standing...(ok...as long as I just stand)...bending over to pick up purse (ouch!)...finding girls who ran to hide even though we just said, "Play right here in this area, and eat your snacks and no hide-n-seek."  (By now I was starting to walk funny.)
• By 5:10 we finally found all the girls, and I could barely sit to drive, but we had a soccer practice and soccer game to get to by 5:30...at two different parks...no worries.  Megan's friend was picking her up.
• Megan who had to be at soccer by 5:30 was at the doctor's office with Tim (because they also thought Urgent Care might be fast that day), so I drove to pick her up, barely in time for her friend to pick her up for practice...which was actually a part of the original plan because I couldn't get to a game and a practice at the same time.
• Drive to the soccer field to find no green shirts.  The game was actually at 6:30.  I hadn't bothered to check the paper...just assumed because every other game was at 5:30...  
• Finally!  A few minutes to find the ibuprofen...maybe I can drive now...and I'll just stand for the game instead of sitting.
• 5 something-ish...close to 6:00:  Walk out the door to take Jeran to a really quick parent teacher conference (because in middle school they're about as quick as Urgent Care...)
• As we're leaving, Tim pulls into the driveway with Nate who is sporting a temporary cast.  Looks like a hairline fracture, but we'll find out tomorrow...  And what's that Nate?  You kicked a Polynesian kid while he was peeing?  Dude.  Did you see how big he is?
• 6:30  Tim takes Joie to soccer while I take Jeran to parent-teacher conferences (and Megan meets us...runs over from the practice field in her sweaty shirt and cleats).
• My back is still screaming with pain...still driving...still walking funny...sitting down in middle school desks...standing...maybe standing...big breath...standing...standing...Do I have to sit again? In those desks?  
• 7:30:  Joie gets yelled at by another player's mom who thought it was unfair that Joie didn't give her 3 year old any treats after the game.  She handled it well and came home and finished homework.

The pillow rolled up under my back right now feels much, much better, and I won't be in pain tomorrow...  Did you hear that back of mine?  I won't be in pain because I said so and that's that and I'm the mom!

Plan for tomorrow morning:  Tim leaves for work at 7:30.  I meet with principal and Nate at 7:30...  Megan and Jeran (who don't have school) help Joie and Gabby get out the door by 7:50 so we can start all over again.  See?  Back hurting is not in the plan.  Neither is a chiropractor appointment.  Because I said so and that's that!

But tonight I've decided it's all about perspective.  Somewhere in Alabama my sister and her family are without power, sheltering other families whose homes aren't habitable, and facing the daunting task of rebuilding neighborhoods and cities.

My backache is nothing.

Yoga...The girls in moment of peace and tranquility before the back wrenching incident

It Warmed My Heart

"It warmed my heart," is Gabby's new phrase.


A few days ago she came home from school and said, "Want me to tell you what warmed my heart today?"

(What mom wouldn't...)

She then told me how some of her friends she plays soccer with told her she is a strong kicker, "and it warmed my heart, mom!"


Then today while driving to soccer practice she said, "My teacher warmed my heart today."

(Of course I had to know...)

She told me how she and another boy had been working hard without talking and the teacher complimented them on working so hard and working quietly.  "...And she warms my heart!"

Then the one that really warmed my heart.

(And another one of those feelin' the love moments between Tim and Gabby.)

Gabby forgot her lunch today.  She is so careful to check the school lunch menu every day and if she doesn't like what they're having, she makes a home lunch to take to school.

Dad's rule:  If you forget something, I don't deliver things to school.  


Dad's reasoning:  You have to learn to be responsible for your own things.


Mom's rule:  It depends...  If it's a habit, you're out of luck.  If it's once in a while and I'm not at work, I don't mind dropping things off.


Mom's reasoning:  They're children.  They're learning...  (And I forget things all the time, but I happen to be an adult with wheels, keys, and a wallet, so if I forget my lunch I'm not out of luck.)

Today I tried to convince Tim it isn't always so black and white, but it seemed like it might just be one of those agree to disagree moments...

I'd drop her lunch off on my way to work.

Then a few minutes later I walked into the kitchen and saw Tim zipping up Gabby's lunchbox with a huge grin on his face.

I snooped.

I had to know.

Inside was a cute note from Dad to Gabby telling her how much he loves her and is glad she is in our family.


Then he (not me) dropped it off at school.

Tim is working this evening, but all afternoon Gabby hasn't stopped asking when Dad is coming home so she can say thanks for the note in her lunch because, "he warmed my heart, Mom."


"And want to know where's my note?" she asked.

(Of course.)

"It's in my desk so I can see it when I want to feel better."


Tim is still at work, but tonight when I prayed with Gabby she said, "Thankful my dad could write a note for me, and it warmed my heart...(long pause)...And help me to think of something nice I can do for him." 


A lot of other people warming Gabby's heart warms my heart.

I guess warm hearts are contagious.

"Horses!"

Actually I think this picture is cows.  I can't really tell, but there are numerous such pictures on my phone, which was in the possession of Gabby Saturday when we went to Idaho for the funeral.

Earlier in the week, while at the cabin, we learned that anytime we drove past a field or barn of horses or cows, Gabby would get excited and start shouting, "Horses!  Horses!"  

At first siblings tried to make the distinction between horses and the various other animals we saw in fields, but the distinction was lost in the excitement.  

When Gabby became a little frustrated at attempts to identify the correct animal, we told her about when Nate was younger and we'd drive past fields and he'd say, "Mooooooo..." to everything.  She thought this was pretty funny.  It is kind of exciting to see herds of enormous animals in fields when you haven't seen a lot of that before...

And I suppose if we were all in India and saw a monkey or elephant while driving down the road we'd all get a little excited too.  ...Which makes me wonder if there were elephants in fields in Utah or Idaho if Gabby would get excited.  Hmmmmmm.....

Last Saturday the excitement over horses happened all over again while driving through rural Idaho, this time with cousins in the car.  Soon we were all saying it..."Horses!  Horses!" 

In fact I almost shouted, "Horses!" when I drove past a field the other day without children in the car.  

Yes, really.  Now who's laughing?

It's another of those adoption "firsts," and its fun to see those firsts through Gabby's eyes.

The Hug Chain

Tim is a pretty affectionate dad.

Hugging is something he's super, super good at.

Our kids love dad's hugs (the great big huge bear-hug variety).

But since Gabby joined our family, Tim has been very aware that hugging is on her terms.  She'll approach him to hug him, but it isn't often that she's comfortable the other way around.

When it comes to bedtime we've been trying to mix it up a little because given the choice, Gabby always chooses for Mom to pray with her and hug her good-night.  Then one night I went to pray with her and heard this:

"Dad prayed with me already, but I was waiting for you to hug me."


The next time that happened, Tim came in with me so we could both hug her together.  She tolerated it, but wasn't thrilled.

We did it again another night.  Same response.  Same tension...and when it comes to hugs, tension equals lack of warmth.

So we just keep trying...and being the stealth parents we are, we also keep setting up situations where Gabby gets to do things with dad rather than mom.  Errands, homework, chores...

Then last night we spontaneously invented a new game...kind of like tag (which Gabby loves) but with hugs instead of tag...and we called it a hug chain.  I hugged Tim and told him to give my hug to Gabby.  He did, then she gave him a hug back for me.

She did it twice.

I love it when accidental things work.  Gabby thought it was a superfun new game, so I'm predicting more hug chains in our future.

Easter

Days like this...

Make Easter more meaningful.

Yesterday the Campbell and Tibbitts families (and hundreds of friends) said our final earthly good-byes to Jeanne Marie Campbell Tibbitts.

Under these sad and difficult circumstances we spent the day surrounded by hundreds of family members we cherish and respect.

On sad and difficult days, feeling surrounded by love makes it feel a bit better.

When I'm around my huge, amazing, extended family, I'm always reminded that family is what it's all about,

And that the little things do matter...

A lot.

During the funeral Jeanne's children told of their mother taking time for the little things, and later that day in the store when I heard a mom shushing her little boy "because I'm busy and I don't have time for that right now," I wanted to tell her time is all she has, but I didn't.  I just thought it, and remembered that I'd try harder not to hurry my own children.  One of the legacies of Jeanne's life is that she surrounded her family with love.

Earlier that day I saw my aunts, Jeanne's two remaining sisters, push my grandmother's wheelchair close to Jeanne's casket so she could say good-bye.  The sight of my grandmother surrounded by their love as she said good-bye to her youngest daughter made me cry.  Several times they would push her again toward the casket, then before the casket was closed, Jeanne's husband helped others support my grandmother while she stood to kiss her daughter on the cheek one last time.

As the viewing was winding down, I also saw my Aunt Ruby put her arm around each of Jeanne's children as she lead them forward to the side of their mother's casket.  She talked to them as they stood there together, and more than a good-bye, it was an embrace from someone who could love them when their mother's arms were no longer there.  As a sister who fills that role, I could relate (and shed some more tears), and appreciated Ruby's sacrifice.  I know the feeling of reaching through your own pain to make sure that a child doesn't go without love.  Last month when I was with Jeanne in the hospital, she spoke of her children on several occasions and her love for them.  Having a familiar set of arms surrounding her children in love on that difficult day would have been important to her.  

When I was with Jeanne in the hospital, she asked me questions about Joie, and as I talked about how Joie is doing Jeanne asked, "Do you feel like your life is normal?"

Without thinking much, I heard myself say, "Yes, fairly normal," then I saw the puzzled look on her face and knew I couldn't pass our lives off as "normal."  So I laughed and added, "Well, normal to us."  

I had forgotten that conversation until today, when I was driving Joie to Cedar Fort to leave an Easter message for her family.  For several hours this afternoon she worked on this poster:

She even engineered stakes (skewer sticks bound together with duct tape...because you can do anything with duct tape).

...So I guess two cemeteries in two days might not be "normal," but on this Easter Sunday, the candy and the new clothes and Easter dinner took a back seat to other events that remind us why we celebrate Easter.

Not so "normal" things like this in our lives remind me daily that our Savior's sacrifice wasn't just about resurrection.  It is also about His capacity to carry our burdens and help us to heal...and for that we don't have to wait for a Resurrection Day.  It is because of His sacrifice that we can feel our lives are "normal."  For that I am eternally thankful.

See here for a great way to teach children about resurrection.  (We used it for Joie's talk in primary today.)

Faith and Hope

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."  Hebrews 11:1

(**photo courtesy of Megan**)

While we were at the cabin, I picked up an old copy of The Ensign magazine (November 1994 to be exact).  

I thumbed through it's pages.  

That was the month and year of our wedding.  

I remembered watching the session of general conference reported on in that issue there at the cabin with Tim and some other family members, but of course the details of topics and speakers had faded.    

Several of the general conference addresses caught my attention, but one stood out because of the title:  "Brightness of Hope", by Neal A. Maxwell.

I needed some brightness of hope right then, so I kept reading.

"...Does hope really matter, or is it merely an antique virtue?"

"...Having ultimate hope does not mean we will always be rescued from proximate problems..."

Then this analogy which helped me understand the relationship between faith and hope in a new way:

"In the geometry of restored theology, hope has a greater circumference than faith. If faith increases, the perimeter of hope stretches correspondingly."

There came into my mind a picture of concentric circles with faith on the inside and hope on the outside.  I could imagine times when I felt myself losing hope, and visualized that outer circle shrinking, and collapsing inward on faith until the light of faith was gone.  I've felt that crushing feeling before, and know the feeling of clinging to a sliver of hope, allowing it to flow into me, and feeling my faith expand accordingly.

Hope feels better than despair.

It felt good to reach for that sliver of light and choose hope.

Everything Will Be OK In The End

A few months after we lost my sister's family, and Joie came into our home, our lives were a jumbled mess of adjustments, settling an estate, cleaning out a house, therapy appointments, and endless needs of children who wanted nothing more than to forget their lives had been forever changed.

It was one of those days, when I knew for sure that even though the rest of the world had gotten on with life, ours would never be the same again.

I knew it.

Never.  As in not ever.


Then I got a card in the mail.  It was from my aunt.  She wrote that her son had given her a quote, and she was sharing.  The quote was:  Everything will be ok in the end.  If it's not ok, it's not the end.


How did she know I needed those words on that very day?

I'll be forever thankful those words came to me right when I was sure that nothing would ever be the same again. Never.  Not ever.


And as simple as it sounds, I could say to myself, "It isn't over.  Keep going.  It's not the end."


So I shared that same quote with my family, and my mom loved it so much she cross-stitched it.

It's been on my wall since then.

A few days ago when I learned of the death of my aunt, there were tears, and feelings of loss and disbelief, and concern about the family she left behind.  Then in a moment of remembrance, I recalled the cross-stitch and wanted to hear those words again.  I stood in the hallway reading them over and over again until I could almost hear my aunt saying them.

And like I did so many times before, I thought, "I still don't feel ok, so it must not be the end."

(Yes, self...this is where you keep going.)

So we did just that and packed to leave for the cabin for a few days.  And in my foggy-headed state of mind, I'm proud to say all I forgot was my toothbrush...  

(I know you're thinking "ewwwwwww...." but I bought a new one.)

Moving forward felt good, even though I kept one foot back...

Emails to and from other family members.

Phone calls.

Quiet, reflective moments.

It was all never far from my mind.

But the moments of moving forward tasted so, so sweet because they were reminders of how moments make up the days that make up our lives.

Thank goodness for the moments.

And while I was away I was reminded how raindrops...

Make way for sunshine.

I was reminded that things that hurt a little can also be beautiful.

And I thought about how the impressions of our lives can ripple out for generations and into eternity.

Then later, some fun coloring eggs (and tie-dying paper towels) turned into a Family Home Evening lesson about Easter and a tomb that opened, yielding new life.

Another reminder that even though things are difficult now, "Everything will be ok in the end."

(**Once again, the photos that tell the story come through Megan's camera lens.  I love that we have all these pictures and I don't think I snapped a single photo!**)

When The Phone Rings

When the phone rings early in the morning

And it's your sister calling...

Even before I answered, I knew.

But I didn't want to know.

So I answered the phone like everything was still ok.

Because I didn't know.

Yet.

But when I heard her voice, I knew.

Then she said what we both knew.

My aunt died.

Cancer.

Again.

And we both cried and talked about our connections to her and interactions with her over the past few weeks, and about the family she left behind.

And we cried some more.  We'll be doing that a lot this week.

Again.

Our Day In Pictures

 Nate is borrowing my camera for the weekend to practice panoramic shots, so Megan borrowed Nate's camera, which she kept with her all day...so looking through her pictures is like catching a glimpse into our day.

Megan playing soccer early this morning.  Go Orange Crush!  These girls are serious about soccer.

Then she got put in as goalie.  Remember that part about girls being serious about soccer?  Having a child play goalie makes the mom job of watching soccer very, very stressful.  One of my friends (mom of the other goalie on the team) came and sat by me and reassured me I wasn't the only one who felt that way.  

Thankfully the game was  tie, and Megan assures me that I was definitely more nervous than she was!

After soccer we helped clean the church.

And the camera reveals why it took so long for the girls to sweep the gym...

Fun photos girls!

Then more fun with the camera...

And a little dress-up and attempts to pose the dogs...

Mr. Camera Shy

Miss Photogenic

Then it was Soccer Round Two.  Joie and Gabby played at the same time in different parks, so we divided up.  The camera and photographer went to Joie's game.  

Yes, Joie is now also playing soccer.  When Megan and Gabby were both playing, she couldn't be left out.  She's never played soccer before, but is determined to learn the game...

Stay tuned for the action shots.  

Then off to a pre-Easter egg hunt...

Gabby's first egg hut ever.  She's a little nervous here.  I told her she looked nervous, and she told her friend, "My mom can read my eyes.  She knew when I had a crush, and she knows when I'm nervous."

But first more soccer with cousins while waiting for the egg hunt to start...

And kickball

Because apparently soccer actually does get old after a while.

Then finally!

The Hunt

Jarmans always hide rubber ducks as part of the fun.  If you find them (and can reach them...30 feet in the air) they're worth a huge chocolate Easter Bunny.  Jeran found one.

Frosting sugar cookies

Then time to go home...

But not before stopping at mine and Nate's favorite store on the way home.

(Obviously Megan waited in the car.)

Still waiting...

And yes, those are her feet.  And her socks.  

Because mismatched is in!

And not captured on camera:  Tim introduced Gabby to The Osmonds.  Later when Gabby was riding with me she requested "Number 6" meaning CD number 6 in the car.  Everyone else knows you don't listen to CD number 6 when mom is in the car.  It's not that I dislike the Osmonds.  It's just that...well...  They're just so pop.  Tim and I agreed a while ago that we could still love each other and disagree about the Osmonds.  Never mind that he's turned all of our children toward the dark side...now Gabby too.  (Me waving a white flag.)

And so beings Spring Break Week.  We leave for the cabin for a few days starting tomorrow.

Catch you all next week!

An Unlikely Pair

The only family member you ever get to choose is your spouse.  

I often hear myself repeating that truth, both as a parent and as a therapist.  

You don't get to choose children, parents, or siblings...

An argument could be made that in adoption we choose our children, but that's a topic for another day.

Back to the sibling issue.  If you have siblings you know the cold, hard truth that certain sibling personalities click more than others.

And since Gabby joined our family it has been fully recognized that a 14 year old boy (almost 15 "in one month and one day," he reminded me today) and a 9 year old girl don't have a lot in common.

It could even be said on some days that they merely tolerate each other.

At the same time, even on the worst days, they both have a connection that can turn sibling angst into playful banter, and Nate is the only sibling who can correct Gabby on grammar or speech. 

But mostly they just tolerate each other. 

"He's weird," Gabby says of his choices in music, friends, clothing...just about everything.  

"Why don't you go play Bar-bies," Nate will frequently say to Gabby.  And he teases her unmercifully that "Justin Bieber isn't singing with his real voice,"  ...An accusation that almost certainly will draw cries of protest (and even occasional tears) from his little sister.   

But lately they've been bonding over a mutual love of backyard soccer.

This has been our backyard view for the past few days.

Today when Nate asked Gabby if she wanted to play, she came quietly to me and whispered (with a huge smile on her face) "He just asked me to play soccer with him!"  

Then a few minutes later I heard him tell her to go ahead and he'd meet her outside, and he came to me and said, "What did she say?"  When I told him, he smiled, and acted like he was just being nice.

But remember he asked her to play.

Who cares why.  They're bonding, and I'm thrilled.