Where's Fall? (And Meeting New Friends)

Missing: Fall

Last seen wearing red and golden leaves and cooler weather. Also answers to the name Autumn and is a fan of football and pumpkin pie. If seen, please return to Utah.  We miss you. (Borrowed from my friend' Shawna's facebook post...except she was missing fall in El Paso.)

I think I've said before I don't have a favorite season.  I love them all...but only when they're new.  I love the seasons changing.  I would get tired of the same season all the time.  This year the seasons in Utah are confused.  We had the longest spring ever.  Summer didn't arrive until mid-July.

Now I'm seeing pumpkins everywhere, and neighbors are beginning to decorate their yards for Halloween.  We had parent teacher conferences for jr. high and high school this week.  Stores are selling Christmas items, yet it was 89 degrees outside today.

Tomorrow it will be October, and I'm looking forward to sweatshirt and sweater season.

I need fall.

Soon.

*************

And now (drumroll please) for some new friends...  A few of you will be new to this blog today, visiting from Diapers and Divinity.

If you're new here, there are a few things you should know:

• My children amuse me, so yes, I blog about them.
• I also blog about any random thing that I might find fascinating, like abnormally warm fall weather.
• I started this blog about four years ago, when tragedy struck our family (see here).
• That means I also blog (sometimes through tears) about grief and loss.  But you should know I also blog about healing, and I hope we communicate through our stories that the joy of healing is just as real as the pain of loss.
• I also blog about adoption, and since our two most recent adoptions are older children, I blog also about the bonding process involved, which can be both difficult and amazing.
• I also find myself blogging more and more about teenagers, since my adorable children are morphing daily into this phase of life.

So welcome, and for those who haven't met Stephanie at Diapers and Divinity, go visit!  She has some amazing insights and ideas on the upcoming general conference for our church.  I think I read last week that it is one of her favorite holidays.  (See here and here for ideas and see here for the Find A Friend post featuring our family.)

And Happy Fall to everyone!  With October just a few days away, colored leaves are sure to be right around the corner.

What I Learned in Family Home Evening

When I think I have creative ideas for Family Home Evening, I get excited to share.  I was looking forward to tonight and a discussion of preparing for general conference that is coming up this weekend.  As it turned out, there was a learning moment in this discussion for me as well.

I started by asking our children what they remembered from conferences past.

It was a bit chaotic, as usual.  Jeran, the resident actor/comedian, gave a version of a story he remembers from last conference that had us laughing.  He even fake cried for it.  (One of his secret talents...he's been able to do that since he was about 4 years old.  It's quite impressive.)

Then Joie told me what she remembered from conference.

Then Megan.

Then Gabby.

Then Nate.

As I listened, I realized the things they remember about general conference are the conference addresses we have reviewed as a family in subsequent Family Home Evenings.  Without exception, we have covered every address they remember.

It was another one of those humbling parent moments to realize those fidgety, restless, highly distracted and sometimes downright disruptive children of mine are actually (sometimes) listening in Family Home Evenings.

Ready for an example of how I, as a parent, would think that the things we discuss are actually not sinking in?  As I was summing up our lively evening with a challenge to prepare for general conference, I asked our children to think of things they need right now, and to pray about those needs and see how their prayers might be answered.  There was some confusion about this from the younger crowd, so I said (obviously without much thought), "If you could ask Heavenly Father for anything, what would it be?"


Gabby's instant response, "An iPod!"  


And Jeran's cryptic comeback, "He's God, Gabby.  Not Santa Claus."  


About then Tim skyped in (better late than never, right?) and in the excitement of skyping with dad, the challenge was lost...

Except that almost all of them have said something after the fact about keeping needs and questions in mind going into conference.  Yeah!  It worked!  (Although I think Gabby might still be holding out for the iPod.)

And tomorrow we won't be skyping with Tim, because he'll be home!!!

Sunday Sharing

I blog because I enjoy it, and until several months ago, I didn't even know there were google stats on my blog, but after learning how to check blog stats, I have been amused at some of the internet searches that bring people here.  The other day one of the searches leading to my blog was, "the answers to life's questions."  Scary, right?


I have three teens who, depending on the day, might tell you I know nothing.  In fact, sometimes I start conversations with them that way, just to avoid conflict.

Which brings me to make this announcement:

Note to teens and other would-be seekers to the answers to life's questions:  The answers to life's questions are not found on this blog.  

However, I do have to say that last night I found some really amazing life answers at an annual women's conference held by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

As of last night, I have a new favorite flower

Forget-me-not

In an address to women, Dieter F. Uchtdorf compared forget-me-nots to us, and presented five ideas to "forget not."  

My new favorite quote comes from President Uchtdorf, who reflected on his own thoughts about feeling forgotten when he was younger:  

"I was never forgotten, and I know something else...neither are you.  You are not forgotten.  Where ever you are, whatever the circumstances may be, you are not forgotten.  No matter how dark your days may seem, no matter how insignificant you my feel, no matter how overshadowed you think you may be, your Heavenly Father has not forgotten you.  In fact, he loves you with an infinite love."

As human beings, I think we've all felt "forgotten" at certain points in our lives.  In a world where it is easy to feel like just a number, I am so thankful that our Heavenly Father knows us and does not forget us.  In our moments of frustration and despair, if we turn to Him, He will whisper to us, "You are not forgotten," and we can know that our lives and individual circumstances do matter.  

A Few Laughs From the Teen Crowd

Tonight when I was so exhausted I couldn't even move (I think I half slept through scriptures tonight), Jeran said (in his most urgent tone), "Mom!  I forgot!  Megan and I need embroidery hoops for our class tomorrow!"


This obviously drew a less than thrilled reaction from me.  I had just been to locations near 2 craft stores earlier in the evening.  My first reaction was that they'd have to just live without it, but being the softie I am, I took them to the store.

On the way to the car I was thinking of lists of jobs they could do to make up for my inconvenience.  At our house rides from mom to anywhere but school cost you a dollar job, which means an easy job around the house, like watering the plants, cleaning out a drawer, changing laundry, etc.  Jeran, who has good frustration sensors, volunteered for him and Megan to do a dollar job for every day past August 27th, which is the day they found out they were supposed to have an embroidery hoop.  Megan's response was, "Jeran, hush!"

Jeran can also make me laugh at just the right moment and while we were running into the store to get embroidery hoops before they closed at 9:00 p.m., he said, "Forgive us. We're little human beings with underdeveloped neurological systems who act impulsively and forget things sometimes."  Seriously?  You'd think he was the son of a social worker or something. 


In all honesty, their discussions of friends, crushes, and ideas about how to vary a school uniform wardrobe were really pretty entertaining, and after a few minutes I actually wasn't feeling so tired.

And it was all I could do to keep from laughing hysterically when Jeran saw his crush in the store and took off chasing her (nonchalantly, of course).  That act alone kept us entertained all the way home.

Also, earlier in the day I got to spend time with Nate, who told me about the long bike rides and runs he's been doing for cross-country.  We shared some smiles over things Gabby said that were cracking us up.  She also made the daily humor list.  ("Mom, why is there red on the mountain?"  I told her the leaves were turning their fall colors.  She said, "Oh, I thought someone painted it because the Utah team won."  We still haven't run out of adoption firsts with her.)

Today I love, love my teens.  They pulled me out of my burn-out and made it ok to keep moving forward...

Six more days until Tim is home!

Sunday Sharing

Forgive me for stretching the limits of Sunday Sharing this week to discuss something that might seem a little non-spiritual, but fun still the same.

For those outside of Utah, did you know we have our own Holy War here every year?  It comes in the form of a football match-up between two rival schools:  BYU and University of Utah.

It's called a Holy War because BYU is a private school owned by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormon church).  Obviously, there is a world-wide fan base.  The University of Utah is a state school, but what a lot of people don't know is "the U" has actually been around a lot longer than "the Y."  In it's pre state school days it was Deseret Academy, and was started also by members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

In Utah, this is the rivalry of all rivalries.  Everyone in Utah chooses sides.  If you move here and don't declare a loyalty, you'd feel like a foreigner.  

We're Utah fans.  Tim's dad taught at the LDS church institute at the University of Utah for years.  I am a graduate of BYU, and while I appreciate my education there, I never really felt a strong sense of loyalty to the school.  

My Master's degree is from the University of Utah.  I loved it there, and during my first year there, the Utes had a dream season, and went undefeated, and became the first non Bowl Championship Series team to be invited to a bowl game.  Tim claims Ute loyalty, but he doesn't watch football with me.  During that 2004 "bowl-busting" season for the Utes, Nate became my football buddy, and together we watched the Utes win game after game.  Nate became a loyal fan.

Megan also declared her Utah loyalty, but Jeran, just to be different, became a BYU fan.

Joie joined our family as the daughter of the world's greatest Boise State fan, and in an attempt to fit in, declared herself a "BYUte Bronco."  Gradually, we've won her over.  She and I both still cheer for Boise (another BCS-busting team), but if Boise plays Utah, we bleed red.  (Sadly, Utah lost to Boise last fall.)

Gabby, who has only been here less than a year is experiencing her first football season in Utah.  She has friends in our neighborhood who are BYU fans.  In a letter Gabby wrote to her sister this past summer, she declared her loyalty to BYU.  I asked her if she knew what BYU was.  She didn't, but she knew her friends cheered for their team, so she became a fan.  

Fast forward to the 2011 BYU-Utah rivalry game.  If you live in Utah, you know it was a painful night for BYU fans, who lost on their own field, 54-10.  It was fun during the game to explain football to Gabby and Joie...good times.  But when things started to look bad for BYU, Gabby said, "BYU, if you lose, I'm going to be a Utah fan."  

Utah answered with a score (then another and another and another...it really was painful for BYU).  Before the end of the 3rd quarter Gabby said, "I can't look," and closed her eyes and went to sleep.

This morning I asked her if she was a Utah fan now.  She said, "No, I'm still BYU.  My coach says it's not if you win or lose but if you have fun."  (I didn't tell her that it didn't really look like BYU was having fun.)  Jeran was also equally disappointed, and hurt that I called him a defector.  Sorry, Jeran.  I love you and love your loyalty.

But for this year, the Runnin' Utes reign supreme.  54-10.  Joie's throat is sore from screaming.  Nate couldn't type numbers fast enough on his facebook status to keep up with the score.  It was a good night to be a Utah fan.  

Go Utes!

To Tim With Love

Dear Tim:

Just wanted to let you know before you come home that I have a new roommate.  As you can see she has grown quite comfy on your side of the bed.

The bonding time with Gabby has been good, but personally, I am counting the days until you're home again.  I miss you!

Love,

Mary

9 days until Tim comes home!

Nick's Birthday Present

Every time I see these pictures, I'm struck by the contrast between the life and energy in the pictures and the date stamp on them.  These pictures were taken at Joie's 8th birthday party, 10 days before she lost her family.  It was a salon party where all the girls got up-do's, then played some games.

Pin the Tail on the Donkey

Nick helping Audrey find the donkey.

I love how Nick doesn't just look like he's being a good sport.  He's enjoying himself.  He loved his girls.  They were his world.  They had no idea that their time together would soon come to an end.

Today Nick would have been 33 years old.  As our morning unfolded, Joie hadn't thought about it, and in the morning rush I forgot to tell her.  She's been sick for the past two days with strep, so it was a slow morning for her.  She was distracted trying to pick out what she wanted to wear to the jr. high back-to-school dance this afternoon, and not focusing on packing her lunch, eating breakfast, and getting ready for school.  

I tried to be patient about redirecting her, but it was my turn to drive carpool and we couldn't leave late, so frustration was winning out.  She still didn't get my hints, and instead started whining and picking on Gabby.

And she still wasn't ready for school!  Five minutes before walking out the door, I was helping her throw together a lunch and said, "I'm sorry, but if you can't get yourself ready for school, you can't go to the dance!"  (Big of me, I know...pushing her buttons.)

Somehow we managed to have family prayer and pull out of the driveway on time.  The other kids were in a different carpool and I was alone with Joie.  A calmer mood was settling over us and the things I thought I wanted to say to her didn't matter so much anymore.  It was in that moment of calm I remembered to tell her today was her dad's birthday.

I know you think this might be headed for a tender, emotional ending, but no.  Think desperate 12 year old wanting to go to a school dance.  We always celebrate, so that's exactly where her brain went, and not even 10 seconds after I told her it was her dad's birthday she said, "I can celebrate by going to my first school dance!"  

I laughed, but didn't answer.  A few minutes later when the carpool kids were climbing out of the car, she stood at the door and looked at me with her big blue eyes, and said, "Please can I tell my friends I can go to the dance?"  

In that moment, Nick was there.  I don't know how I knew, but there are times I just know, and right there in the carpool lane, I felt in my heart the way he used to describe feeling when he'd give in to her "puppy dog eyes."  I felt a smile spread across my face and heard myself say "yes."  She had turned around and was celebrating with friends and didn't see the tears start to form in my eyes.  It was another one of those moments when I was happy for her, and painfully aware at the same time that I was here enjoying this moment with her because they weren't.  

The same tears threatened to spill from my eyes later that afternoon when she was getting ready and asked me what to do if a boy asks her to slow dance.  (I knew the school policy enough to feel safe on that one.)

So Nick, I guess this year Joie got what she wanted for your birthday.  (And thanks for the nudge.  It was one of those moments I needed to take my parenting job a lot less seriously.)

Sidenote:  Ten days until Tim comes home!   

Sunday Sharing

"Never forget."  

We hear those words every year on the anniversary of 9-11.  But yesterday in a conversation with my children, I realized Nate (who would have been 5 at the time) was the only one who actually had any memories of that day, and even those were vague.

Then Gabby joined us in the conversation.  She had no idea what we were talking about.  As we started explaining what happened on 9-11, she remembered hearing somewhere the story of Flight 93 that was heroically crashed into a Pennsylvania field.  She would have been an infant in India during the time of the attacks.

All of our children were alive at the time, but don't remember.

But they do remember this:

On the first anniversary of 9-11, this healing field was created near where we live as a memorial to those who lost their lives on 9-11.  Each flag represents a person who lost their lives that day.  Every year since then we visit this site, and this year we'll visit again.

Realizing my children didn't have any significant memories of that day made me thankful for traditions.  They do remember those.

They remember seeing the flags for the first time the first year they visited.  It was an impressive sight.

They remember the year Tim was interviewed by a newspaper reporter there, and they remember the tears in dad's eyes as he talked to the reporter about his experience at work on 9-11 (he works for the FAA), and the emotions of seeing the screens of airplanes go blank, and being on lockdown, unsure of when the threat would be over and he'd be able to return to his family.  They know the story, even if they don't remember it.

And Joie remembers the first time she visited.  Several years before she lost her family, they moved here to Utah, and that fall they joined us in our healing field tradition.  It's a great memory for all of us, and we treasure the pictures and memories.

Joie, Megan, Jeran, Nate, and baby Audrey

I remember being with their family that day and how Joie and Megan were playing and being silly.  Joie's dad wanted her to understand the significance of 9-11.  He took her hand and walked away from the group of cousins so he could explain this day to her.

Nick and Joie discussing 9-11

There have been other years it has seemed we're too busy to go, but we always fit it in.

Today Gabby has reminded me several times already that she wants to go see the flags.  She has been excited to see this place we're all talking about.  About an hour ago we were getting ready to walk out the door and a crazy wind and lightening storm hit.  We're hoping it blows over like it has the past few days.

As human beings we create traditions around most major events in our lives so we can "remember," and in the absence of experience, it is traditions that bring us to a remembrance of significant life events.  It is because of traditions that our children can "never forget" 9-11.

More Confessions

This morning I woke up to a very messy house.  It seems that after we couldn't keep up with the dishes, we just gave up entirely.

Then I watched one of my children make a sandwich for lunch and leave the peanut butter, knife, and sticky honey mess out on the kitchen countertop.  I glanced around and another child's shoes were sitting on the kitchen countertop (yes, really).  Two more pairs of the same child's shoes were in the entryway.  The upstairs bathroom was a mess of toothpaste, brushes, and various hair accessories.

I'm not quite sure what came over me, but it was one of those moments where the need to take control won out over giving up entirely...letting ourselves be swallowed up in piles of clutter and sticky kitchen messes.

I made an announcement:  Everyone has to clean up their trail before they go to school.  When you leave, I will collect all trail items that aren't picked up and put them in a bin and you have to do jobs to get them back.


At our house, "trail" is a regular part of daily jobs.  If I can tell where you've been in the house, that means you left a trail...socks, food, not flushing the toilet (yes, that happens also).  But for some reason, not being able to keep up on the mess of dishes gave everyone permission to ignore the trail rule.

A few minutes later, I walked through the house and all personal items were picked up but there were still trails of messes...the lotion in the living room, the sticky mess on the countertop, the scissors and glue on the coffee table.  I realized that no one cared if I took those items away so I amended my announcement:  And there will be jobs assigned for non-personal trail items that can't go in a bin.


I am not kidding when I say the house was clean when we all walked out the door by 8:00 a.m. (with the exception of the dishes which were done after the dishwasher repair man came today).

Clean dishes.  Clean house.  All is right with the world.

My lesson for the day:  Why didn't I do that sooner?

Which leads to my confession of the day:  I'm a therapist and I still struggle with mom boundaries.

My excuses for becoming an enabler to my children this week are many:

• They're busy.  (Memo to self:  So am I.)
• They're tired.  (Memo to self:  So am I.)
• Gabby is sick.  (That one was legit...she even had a fever)
• The dishwasher was broken.  (I know how ridiculous that will sound to my mother who raised me without a dishwasher so I would know know to do dishes.)
• Tim is out of town.  (i.e. I'm busy.)

And the list goes on and on.  Seriously, as a therapist you'd think I'd have mastered this by now.  Maybe I should have titled this post:  How Not To Be An Enabling Parent 101.  And the subtitle would be:  You know you're an enabling parent if you're burned out, tired, and exhausted.

While it might be a fact of life that it's a true human condition to find ourselves in enabling roles as parents, it sure felt good to reclaim my house and my life today.

Note to kids:  Mom is back.  (Hello!  Three of you are taller than I am.  Did you really think this could last forever?)

(And since the dishes are done, all is right with the world again.)

Confessions

I need to confess:

• My house is a mess.
• I'm behind on notes at work.
• I didn't check Gabby's backpack for an entire week and missed some important notes.  (Isn't she supposed to give them to me?)
• Instead of cleaning my house this afternoon, I read and took a nap.
• I also burned the sweet potato chips I was trying to roast for dinner.  (The not-burned ones were delicious.)
• I skipped back-to-school night tonight.
• I haven't done laundry for 3 days.
• Scripture reading tonight was Nathan reading us a list of law-of-Moses rules from the book of Numbers in the Bible while everyone was working on homework.

But I have an excuse...a lot of them actually.

• Tim is out of town for the next three weeks.
• He left Tuesday and Gabby came home from school sick that day.  I think I'm getting what she has but I started taking airborne when she came home sick so even though I'm a little run-down, I'm not sick (yet).
• That was the same day Nate started cross-country practice at the same time Megan had soccer practice...just one of those times two parents makes things easier.
• Blossom peed on my bedroom floor and spent the afternoon howling the roofers in neighbor's backyard.  It seemed to really, really bother her that people were on the roof.  (And it really, really bothered the whole neighborhood that she felt she had to howl at the people on the roof, which is why the doggie door was closed and why she peed on the carpet.)
• The dishwasher also broke the day Tim left.  The kitchen hasn't been clean since he left.  I'm blaming the dishwasher, but the truth is that the kitchen might not be completely clean until Tim gets back since he is the best at staying on top of the constant flow of food and dishes that is our kitchen.
• One of the girl's elastic headbands got jammed in the printer which caused some stress in a house full of jr. high and high school students who are feeling homework pressure.  (Thank you, Jeran, for fixing it.)
• Then there is the usual--errands, phone calls, appointments, yard, carpools, sports, PTA meeting, Activity Days...

I don't want to complain because I know that some husbands have to travel for work a lot more than Tim, but I keep feeling the whiner in me threatening to burst through.  I hate that I feel like I live in the car on afternoons when he's gone...and when I'm living in the car, I'm not here at home.  Dinner and jobs are then chaotic, and somehow there are a million things left undone.  One of my clients at work today was telling me about her maid, and while I was supposed to be listening, all I could think was, "A maid?  Really?  I want one."  

Meanwhile, there are still the funny, happy things and we try to focus on those.  

• Gabby is starting to feel better and was in rare form tonight with comments that kept me laughing all the way through homework.  
• Megan made the carpool wait while she ran back in the house to get mouthwash.  
• Jeran made horse bars (don't ask) as an after school snack the day Tim left because Tim usually does that and was gone.  
• Joie did all the dishes for me last night which is amazing if you know her history with jobs.  
• Nate is loving cross-country, and pushing himself on homework and training for cross-country...so nice to have the motivation come from him, not me!

It's all about perspective, right?  I guess focusing on the big picture is my spoonful of sugar for the next few weeks.  (Nineteen days to be exact, until Tim is home.)

Sunday Sharing

My great, great grandfather is Sanford Bingham.  He is the father of Maria (pronounced Ma-ri-ah) Bingham who married Hazleton Campbell.  They are the parents of my grandfather, Sanford Campbell.

When Sanford Bingham settled in the Salt Lake Valley, he and his brother Thomas were cattle ranchers.  They ran a heard or cattle in the mountains bordering the west side of the valley.  The canyon became known as Bingham Canyon.

While herding cattle, Sanford and Thomas discovered mineral deposits in the canyon and took samples to Brigham Young, the Mormon prophet and leader at the time.  Brigham Young advised them not to engage in mining at the time, due to concerns about mining being an attraction to outsiders that would interfere with the need of the growing community to practice their religion in peace.  Sanford and Thomas heeded this counsel and later their families settled in an area north of the Salt Lake Valley.  Hazleton and Maria Campbell eventually farmed in Juniper, where I grew up and where my family still farms today.

Bingham Mine, which is now known as Kennecott Copper Mine, is one of the largest copper mines in the world, and produces 25% of our nations copper.

This afternoon we took the kids to visit Kennecott.  We've gone before, several years ago, but as I've learned more about the history of my great, great grandfather, I thought it would be fun to go there again with the kids.

Looking across the open mine several miles wide and 3/4 mile deep.

Side wall of Kennecott Copper Mine

Two cute miners

12 foot tire of the trucks used to haul the dirt containing minerals

Megan paying close attention to the sign.

Testing her strength

One of two places at the mine where we saw Sanford Bingham's name. 

This display seemed to draw a crowd.

Second name spotting

Two more cute miners

It's a real moment of introspection to be standing at the face of one of the world's largest copper mines, thinking that if history had been different, I may be the wealthy descendent of Sanford Bingham, instead of the farm girl from Idaho descendent of Sanford Bingham.  I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a little part of me that wondered how my life would be different if my great, great grandfather had decided to be a miner instead of listening to the prophet.

Then in that moment I also had to imagine being raised in a family without the gospel, in a life where material possessions mattered more than following the plan of our Savior, which includes following the counsel of living prophets.

I wondered what that decision was like for Sanford Bingham.  Did he deliberate?  Did he think twice before leaving behind his discovery of rich mineral deposits for cattle farming?  When miners entered the area several years later, did he ever look back and wonder if his life could have been different?  Or did his heart yearn for the farm, and family and home like mine does when I've been away from Juniper for too long?  It's funny how you come to love what you have.

Honestly, there was still a little part of me that wished for both the gospel and wealth.  There are people who have both, right?  At the same time, I also know that I, and hundreds, maybe even thousands of descendants of Sanford Bingham, will one day meet him again and thank him for his decision to put generations of our family on a gospel path.

Then I thought of this quote:  "Never permit yourself to become a weak link in the chain of your generations."  (President Gordon B. Hinckley from "Keep the Chain Unbroken", 30 November, 1999)  

For those who gave me a strong chain of generations to belong to, I am thankful.  I know in my heart it is a treasure that wealth cannot buy.

Inspired by Joie

Today I got a blog comment on a previous post where someone was commenting about a post they had seen about our Random Acts of Kindness on Joie's blog.

I know I sometimes frequently space things my children tell me, but I'm pretty sure Joie didn't tell me about this post because I only saw it for the first time today.  It was one of those moments I wished I was closer to a box of tissues.

Thanks, Joie, for the inspiration.  You're an amazing girl.  Take a look if you haven't already (link above).  Prepare to be inspired (the kind of inspiration that also comes with a kleenex warning).

Are You Gabby's Mom?

My goal to blog frequently is slipping.  Back to school = back to sports, lessons, school events, PTA...

But everywhere I go this past week it seems Gabby has been there first, and I never get tired of hearing from other people how amazing she is because I feel just as lucky as they do to know her.

Me with Gabby after her adoption

In fact, I'm starting to learn there are few people in our school, church, or neighborhood who don't know Gabby.  A few weeks ago I was talking to a neighbor who moved away a few years ago, and is now moving back into our neighborhood.  He commented on our new family member.  As we were talking, Gabby walked up to join us.  I started to introduce her and he said, "Oh, we've already met."   He then proceeded to tell me how she introduced herself one day when he was out working in his yard.

Megan used to be the family social butterfly, but I think she's been edged out of first place by Gabby.  I'm not kidding when I say there are neighbors that live on our street who I haven't met in the 7 years we've lived here (sad, I know), but who we've met since Gabby moved in.  People just love her, and she loves people.

Tonight was back to school night.  As I was walking down the hall someone stopped me to tell me "the cutest thing Gabby did the other day..."  Then someone else near us said (in an excited tone of voice like they were meeting the mom of someone famous), "Are you Gabby's mom?"  I think the conversation was ending before I introduced myself by something other than "Gabby's mom."

A few minutes later I walked into her classroom.  The individual student seats were decorated with paper plate heads made to look like our children, attached to their jackets.   Parents were supposed to find our child's desk.

 I must have looked a little lost because the teacher helped me.  "Who is your student?" she asked.


"I'm Gabby's mom," I said.  (I thought it best to skip right to introducing myself as Gabby's mom since everyone already knows her.)  I seriously thought she was going to hug me (and after all the good things we've heard about her from Gabby, I was ready to hug her too).  It also turns out we have friends in common with Gabby's teacher, and she had already heard all about the Jarmans (one of those moments you hope that's a good thing).  Right there in a room full of other parents we bonded over a mutual love of Gabby while the room full of parents listened in.

Her teacher later told me an amazing story of Gabby learning to count money, and just pushing through and not giving up.  She wanted so badly to understand and she wasn't afraid of not knowing.

Then as I was leaving the school, I stopped for a minute to talk with the principal.  This time the conversation started with Joie.  He wanted to know how she was doing at her new school.  Then the conversation shifted to Gabby.  He complimented her with words like amazing, motivated, and outgoing.  (If you're a parent you know that sometimes you aren't sure what you'll hear about your child when you're talking to the principal, so that was a very welcome end to my back-to-school night.)

Then at home one of the warmest gestures of all came from big brother, Jeran.  Jeran is earning his reading merit badge by helping Gabby with her reading, and when he was talking to me today about helping her, I asked him if he was going to keep helping her even after he earns his merit badge.  Without a hesitation he said, "Oh, for sure," and told me about helping her.  He was excited to tell me that tonight he explained Greek mythology to her so they could start reading the Percy Jackson series together.  He has been so excited about how well she is reading, and this morning during family scripture study she was beaming when the compliments came pouring in after she read her verses nearly all by herself.  Jeran notices her progress and feels good about contributing.  Megan and Joie also help Gabby with homework.  She's so eager to learn that it's rewarding for them to help her.

I'm reminds me a little of the idea that "it takes a village," and there is nothing better than the feeling of being surrounded by a village that just adores this amazing girl!

And yes, I am proud to say I am Gabby's mom.