Healing has happened gradually, and is still happening. I’m realizing that in some ways, we’ll always be healing. I’m thankful for a strong family, and great support. At the same time, there were times we felt isolated and alone. It was difficult for people to understand so much loss, and difficult to keep hearing people ask how we were doing, or to hear, “She’s so lucky to have you.” I never felt bitter about people saying awkward things because I knew people meant well. It was just another indicator that few people knew what we were experiencing. I did appreciate that they were trying to support us in any way they could. Even family sometimes didn’t understand. They wanted to help but didn’t always know how. In reality, no one could help. Healing was a journey we had to get through together, and as we did, we became a family, and the adjustment problems lessened, and gradually we started making new memories.
We all still miss the family members we lost. Sometimes out of the blue grief hits and it feels as real as the day we lost them. I’ll see little girls that are the age Joie’s sister would be if she was still living and wonder what she’d be like if she was still here. Holidays, birthdays, and school programs aren’t the same. I’m always aware as I am enjoying those events with Joie, that
I’d rather be sharing that joy with the people she loved, who would be there with her if we weren’t there. But we do appreciate the days and years we have together, and the people we love. We treasure time with family and friends. We live healthier lives. We work harder to show kindness to those around us. We make choices based on family and relationship priorities, knowing time isn’t infinite.
Read more about our ongoing journey through
grief.
