I'm Declaring It Family Friday

The tragedy on my mind this afternoon is the same tragedy on everyone's mind...

As you all know, early this morning a gunman entered an elementary school and shot 26 people (20 kids).  His actions have left a lot of minds reeling today with questions about safety.

Personally, when I heard the news, I felt the same way I did on 9-11.  I couldn't wait to hug my kids this afternoon.  I wanted right then to go find them where ever they were at and wrap my protective parent arms around them and make sure nothing ever hurt them.  Ever.

My next thoughts were about our crazy morning.  There were too many things happening to fit into one day and it turned out to be one of those mornings.  (If you're a parent, you know what I mean.)

Nate was sporting crutches and a knee brace, courtesy of a wrestling injury that was really a cross country injury that hadn't healed and was re-injured, and I knew I needed to try to get him in to an orthopedic specialist sometime in the near future.

Megan had to be to school early to take a test, and Joie needed to leave with her to go to a study lab.

Gabby needed Mentos, Diet Coke, and Play Doh for a science experiment at school, and the two stores I had been to the night before didn't have Mentos, so I knew I'd be on some kind of mission that morning before work to find a store or gas station that stocked Mentos...

And Gabby was worried she wouldn't get what she needed for her experiment.

Jeran was rushing around trying to pack up the 30-something birdhouses he had made and was donating to Primary Children's Hospital for kids in the hospital to paint.

Tim, who was supposed to be getting ready to drive Jeran and the birdhouses to the hospital was on a cleaning frenzy, which stresses me out because if he cleans I feel like I have to clean and that just wasn't on my to-do list for today.

Somehow in the process of us arguing passionately discussing housecleaning, the topic of kids' chores came up and poor Gabby only heard which jobs hadn't been done, and didn't get much credit for all she had done.  I hate it when that happens, and I saw it on her face as soon as she heard it.

Never in a million years would I care more about a clean house than my children.  (I can offer a free tour of our messy house as Exhibit A in my defense.)  But that's the message Gabby got.

I also hate sending my kids to school upset.  I've been known to take the long way to school so we can talk, or park in the parking lot to finish a discussion, and even drop them off late on occasion just to make sure we don't part ways upset at each other.  It's funny what loss will do to you that way, and somewhere in the back of my mind there's always the thought that we can't part ways upset...  Call it residual grief or a life's lesson learned.  Either way, it's important to me.

Today was no different.  Gabby had stomped out the front door and was sitting on the porch.  I called her back in and we had a minute--just Mom, Dad, Gabby, and Jeran.  Gabby got to hear how much she was loved and even what an amazing hard worker she was (because she is), and in just a few minutes our priorities were re-adjusted and relationships became once again more important than a messy clean house.

Why do I share that?  Because today, like so many other parents, as soon as I heard the news, I thought of all those other parents who will never get to hug their kiddos again, and wondered what if...

What if that had been our school, in our town...students we knew and loved, or even one of our own children?  And I thought of our morning.

Then I thought of people I knew, and found myself sympathizing with comments on facebook about wanting to homeschool, and sending prayers and love to people affected by this tragedy...  All of us trying in every way like I was to make sense of senseless.

Then when school let out, I went to go pick up Gabby, and was relieved that (at least for now, until she starts hearing more about it) she was just happy with the goldfish crackers and apple juice I bought her for her snack before she went to tutoring.  She heard what happened and asked a few questions, but quickly moved on to other things.

And as difficult as it was to not want to listen to the news on the radio, I turned it down and once again it was just me and one of my kids, and all was right with the world.  Then I dropped her off at her tutoring class and fought the urge to disrupt normal and just keep her with me today.  (Sigh.)

Then later when I picked her up, she was chatting about her day and asking for "Little Cheesers Pizza" for dinner because "Little Cheesers" is next to her tutoring, and she can't not ask every time we leave.  It was all oh-so-normal.

And I was oh-so-thankful that things were oh-so-normal...

And the sadness of the day hit me again as I thought about those whose lives are anything but normal today, and whose arms will feel especially empty tonight.

I know Gabby will have questions as she hears more about it, and I know over the weekend we'll discuss it more so she gets to process it first before hearing it from her friends.  The other kids have had questions too, and have already talked about it with their friends.

Sadly, tragedy isn't new to our family, and I learned a long time ago you can't make sense of senseless.  I also know, more than I wish I knew, that I can't protect children from life (but that doesn't keep me from wishing I could, and even trying...because I'm a mom and I'm human).

At the same time, the lessons I've learned lead me like an old friend through helping me process this new tragedy with my children.  I know without even thinking that my need to process isn't theirs.  And I learned a long time ago that hiding my sadness and grief won't protect them, and letting my grief show gives them permission to do the same, even when what we're experiencing isn't the same.  And fear...  My fear isn't their fear, but how I handle my fear is a cue to them about how to handle their fear.

And that is why today, like every day, they will see me doing what I always do...breathing in...breathing out...driving crazy carpools, and dropping them off at tutoring and practices and bossing them around all evening as they do their chores.

And tonight, as luck would have it, no one has anything scheduled, so we're declaring it Family Friday, and watching "It's A Wonderful Life" together.  And what do you know...the teens aren't even protesting (at least not much).  Some days I guess we're all just a little more thankful for each other than others.

And an awesome Mr. Rogers quote shared today on facebook:  "When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.' To this day, especially in times of 'disaster,' I remember my mother’s words, and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers - so many caring people in this world."

Also some great resources about helping kids deal with tragedy can be found here.

Are You Gabby's Mom?

My goal to blog frequently is slipping.  Back to school = back to sports, lessons, school events, PTA...

But everywhere I go this past week it seems Gabby has been there first, and I never get tired of hearing from other people how amazing she is because I feel just as lucky as they do to know her.

Me with Gabby after her adoption

In fact, I'm starting to learn there are few people in our school, church, or neighborhood who don't know Gabby.  A few weeks ago I was talking to a neighbor who moved away a few years ago, and is now moving back into our neighborhood.  He commented on our new family member.  As we were talking, Gabby walked up to join us.  I started to introduce her and he said, "Oh, we've already met."   He then proceeded to tell me how she introduced herself one day when he was out working in his yard.

Megan used to be the family social butterfly, but I think she's been edged out of first place by Gabby.  I'm not kidding when I say there are neighbors that live on our street who I haven't met in the 7 years we've lived here (sad, I know), but who we've met since Gabby moved in.  People just love her, and she loves people.

Tonight was back to school night.  As I was walking down the hall someone stopped me to tell me "the cutest thing Gabby did the other day..."  Then someone else near us said (in an excited tone of voice like they were meeting the mom of someone famous), "Are you Gabby's mom?"  I think the conversation was ending before I introduced myself by something other than "Gabby's mom."

A few minutes later I walked into her classroom.  The individual student seats were decorated with paper plate heads made to look like our children, attached to their jackets.   Parents were supposed to find our child's desk.

 I must have looked a little lost because the teacher helped me.  "Who is your student?" she asked.


"I'm Gabby's mom," I said.  (I thought it best to skip right to introducing myself as Gabby's mom since everyone already knows her.)  I seriously thought she was going to hug me (and after all the good things we've heard about her from Gabby, I was ready to hug her too).  It also turns out we have friends in common with Gabby's teacher, and she had already heard all about the Jarmans (one of those moments you hope that's a good thing).  Right there in a room full of other parents we bonded over a mutual love of Gabby while the room full of parents listened in.

Her teacher later told me an amazing story of Gabby learning to count money, and just pushing through and not giving up.  She wanted so badly to understand and she wasn't afraid of not knowing.

Then as I was leaving the school, I stopped for a minute to talk with the principal.  This time the conversation started with Joie.  He wanted to know how she was doing at her new school.  Then the conversation shifted to Gabby.  He complimented her with words like amazing, motivated, and outgoing.  (If you're a parent you know that sometimes you aren't sure what you'll hear about your child when you're talking to the principal, so that was a very welcome end to my back-to-school night.)

Then at home one of the warmest gestures of all came from big brother, Jeran.  Jeran is earning his reading merit badge by helping Gabby with her reading, and when he was talking to me today about helping her, I asked him if he was going to keep helping her even after he earns his merit badge.  Without a hesitation he said, "Oh, for sure," and told me about helping her.  He was excited to tell me that tonight he explained Greek mythology to her so they could start reading the Percy Jackson series together.  He has been so excited about how well she is reading, and this morning during family scripture study she was beaming when the compliments came pouring in after she read her verses nearly all by herself.  Jeran notices her progress and feels good about contributing.  Megan and Joie also help Gabby with homework.  She's so eager to learn that it's rewarding for them to help her.

I'm reminds me a little of the idea that "it takes a village," and there is nothing better than the feeling of being surrounded by a village that just adores this amazing girl!

And yes, I am proud to say I am Gabby's mom.

Ready, Set, Go! (Round 2)

The second bunch of back-to-schoolers was off early Wednesday morning.  Check them out in their love-er-ly uniforms.

The only problem of the day was that Megan wore light blue, a color apparently reserved for high school students only.  Oops.  

Other than that, the transition from public middle school to a charter school was seamless.  Worries about friends disappeared the first day.  It seems like our family wasn't the only one making a switch and our children knew more of their new peers than they originally thought.  At the end of the first week I can say I'm glad we did it.  No regrets.  

(If you don't like reading about school issues, feel free to stop, but if you're a parent, school is a major issue, so reading on might be good...)

I know there are as many opinions out there about schooling as there are people, and I guess that would be my main point in prefacing our move to a charter school.  Every family and every student within families is diverse and I've always tried to treat my children's educational needs individually.  I even homeschooled one of my children for 6 whole weeks several years ago.  

Said student was in a very chaotic classroom environment and does better with a lot of structure.  This kiddo was falling apart, not getting out of bed in the morning, crying when it was time to leave the house, disappearing into their own world at all times of day and night.  It was a little disheartening as a mom to see such extreme changes.  The word helpless comes to mind.  I worked with the school to try to get a different class for my child (because hello! I know my children) and instead the principal thought this child needed an evaluation.  Keeping two other children in school, I pulled my child who was struggling out of school for a brief stint of homeschool (longest 6 weeks of my life).  This child's personality returned, and I was able to return to the school (after a few district level phone calls) to negotiate putting my child in a different classroom.  This child finished the school year in a wonderfully structured class with a wonderfully structured teacher and we all lived happily ever after.  The end.

But not quite.

During that difficult year, a new charter school opened up in our area.  I considered taking my children there, and entered their names in the lottery and they got in!  We were so excited!

Then plans changed once again.  We were also moving to a new house that same year (same general area) and as we learned more about our new boundary elementary school, the more we liked that option and didn't see the need for a charter school.  Our initial instinct to keep with our boundary school was right on.  The elementary school has been amazing with great administration, incredible parent involvement, and a lot of extra-cirricular opportunities for our children.  When we had challenges we were able to work them out with teachers and/or administration and it was this school and community support that was hugely instrumental in getting us through one of the most difficult years of our lives.  We were pleased with our decision to remain in our community school.

Until middle school.

Nate flew under the middle school radar the first year.  Then in 8th grade he got sick...too many health problems to list in one blog post.  He was diagnosed later that year with PANDAS which stands for Pediatric Autoimmune Neuropsychiatric Disorders Associated with Strep.  Think rheumatic fever for the brain.  Basically antibodies that are supposed to attack strep attack the neurological system...not a fun scenario for anyone, but especially not a fun scenario for a pre-pubescent middle schooler.  (Read more about PANDAS here.)  

During the summer between 8th and 9th grades Nate came to me and said something about wanting to go to a smaller school.  By that point he was on long-term antibiotics and doing better but just didn't want to return to the same environment he'd been in...  And truth be told, even on our best days I hadn't been super impressed with the middle school either.

A few phone calls later I found out that the same charter school we had considered all those years previous was building a high school, and had openings for high-school aged students.  Nate got in.  He has some rough patches with health last year (which continue off and on) but even during the worst points of the year, the school was responsive, structured, open, and consistent.  

Seeing the differences between that and our middle school experience (where Megan and Jeran were then enrolled) lead me to put all their names on the waiting list.  I had some hesitations about moving children to a different school if they were doing ok, but I was convinced by than that not all public schools were created equally, and a good elementary experience in our local area did not equal a good middle school experience.  I was also concerned that Joie, who was only a few years behind Megan and Jeran, could potentially have more difficulty in the complex social environment of traditional middle school.  I put their names back in the charter school lottery.

Long story short (and back to the point about what is best for each individual student and family), we followed our instincts again and all our older children (with the exception of Gabby, who is still at our boundary elementary school) are at Summit Academy.  Sixth grade is part of the jr. high there, so Joie made the move as well.

So far the reviews are positive.  Even Megan who was the most concerned about leaving behind the familiar (i.e. friends), said the following on the first day:  "It's so clean! And I didn't hear one swear word all day, and there was no pushing in the halls and people get to class on time because if they don't they actually get detention."

Then over the past few days I've heard how classes are fun and how it's nice to be in classes where students are there to learn.  

Imagine that.  Learning in school.

That's been a frustration for me with middle school (and apparently for Megan and Jeran who on the surface appeared to be doing well).  It seems that in spite of best efforts, teachers are compelled to teach while dancing around an environment where behavior problems are accepted as the norm.  It's a complex environment that I won't pretend to understand, but at the end of the day, knowing we have three out of five children who for various reasons would struggle in that complex environment, we've made the shift. It means driving out of our way to take kids to school (thank heavens for an awesome carpool organizer).  It means wearing (and buying) uniforms.  In the next few years it will mean driving outside of our area for sporting and other extra-cirricular events.  It means sacrifice, but we felt like it was the best choice for our family.

So ready, set go!  2011-12 school year, here we come!  With five children at three different schools, I'm sure it won't be boring.  Nate starts high school Monday and from then forward, I'm sure I'll have to hire a full-time event planner to keep up with the schedules!

***I did a blog series last fall on my counseling website about school issues.  If school is challenging for your students (or you) take a look.***

Ready, Set, Go!

First day of school already?

Don't let the smile fool you.  Poor Gabby starts school two days before the junior high kids, and a full week ahead of Nate who is in high school, so she was the only one who had school today.  Trust me.  There were plenty of, "It's-not-fair!" moments.  

And the outfit she had picked out weeks ago to wear today didn't make it on her body.  At the last minute she chose comfort over fashion.  (Yes!)  But she still somehow managed to pull off an impressive back-to-school look...  And payback to the older siblings who didn't start yet is right around the corner, because come Wednesday morning, they'll all be marching out the door in uniforms.  Somehow "It's not fair!" takes on a whole new meaning.

Seeing Red

Photo by PTA President, Dawn-Marie Wood

Our PTA President snapped this photo a few weeks ago of the fundraiser meter at our children's elementary school.  While the fundraiser was nothing less than impressive, let me call your attention to the beautiful red tulips in the foreground.  

Last fall I got to help take on Red Ribbon Week at Sunrise Elementary.  With the support of the PTA and the principal, janitor, and 760 students at Sunrise Elementary, we took on the ambitious project of every child planting a bulb for a red tulip that would bloom in the spring so they would remember their promise to "grow up drug free."  As you can imagine, these are just a few of the beautiful tulips we planted.  Our school is surrounded with bright red gorgeous-ness.

I blogged on my counseling website that week about the role of parents in helping children to keep their promise.  Parents, our role is huge, and yes, they are listening.  

Take a minute to read through the above link.  It's never too young to start the discussion with children about addictions that can destroy their lives.

More on parenting here.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

If you have kids, you know it's possible to have good, bad, and ugly all in one day.

The good:  Finding this when Gabby went to bed...

Awwwww...

And just seconds earlier I had been thinking, "When is she going to pick up her soccer gear?"


I'm glad she left it out for me to find.

Megan and Gabby both started spring soccer this week.  Gabby isn't excited.  Not at all...


It's just her very own Wilson.

And a moment of green sharpie craziness.

It's all good.


Very, very good.


On a day that had already seen the bad.


Actually that would be The Bad...


When I see the school number on caller i.d., it usually isn't good news.  Either someone is sick, hurt, or in trouble...

(Or I forgot to pick them up, which has also happened...and is also bad.)

This day it was trouble.

In the form of a suspension?

Bad.  Very, very bad.


Fantasies-of-grounding-him-for-life kind of bad.  And taking away his phone, iPod, friends, and facebook...

Then I pulled up to the school and he got in the car.  He smiled at me.  He knew that I knew and the look on his face made me laugh.  So instead of grounding him for life I just said, "What happened?"

He told me, and what I heard surprised me.  In a good way.  I'm glad I listened instead of reading him the riot act.  And I didn't ground him for life...just until next week.

And today while he was home from school he had to clean the storage room...

And the scary closet (which is ugly, very, very ugly.)

Then more good.  Because that's who he is.

Good in the form of an unsolicited apology.

It warmed my mother heart, which felt very, very good.

Hi Ho! Hi Ho! It's Off To School They Go!

The energy level was high around our house this morning!



The elementary school kids.

They were so excited they woke up at 6:00 a.m. and all four of them were ready to walk out the door by 7:00...they don't even have to leave the house until close to 8:00. (Nate doesn't look it in the picture but he was as excited as anyone.) Give them a week and I'll be calling them out of bed at 7:00. They all wanted cold lunch and made their lunches, but Jeran and Megan forgot theirs and even though we drove they were so excited to get there they opted for school lunch on the first day rather than go home to get their cold lunches. Joie wanted me to walk her to her class line, but Megan and Jeran said they just wanted a wave. I hugged Joie good-bye and walked past Jeran and Megan's line on the way to the car thinking, "Just wave...just wave..." Then one of Jeran's friends said hi to me so I walked over to say hi and talked just long enough that auto pilot took over and as I said good-bye I did the UNTHINKABLE...I hugged my 6th grade son in front of his friend. My hug was met by a stiff-as-a-board non-response from Jeran and in an instant I saw the look on his face and realized what I had done. Then he kind of lauhed a little and his friends kind of laughed too. Rather than embarassing him further by saying sorry, I just smiled and waved and waved to Megan and left. Here we go into another school year!

Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?

We admit that tonight for the first time in homework history we had to phone a friend for help. Megan and Jeran have an extra credit math problem of the week that usually requires a lot of thinking (i.e. not your typical 5th grade math problem). We help them solve it when they need help. The truth is they usually don't need help. Jeran is our resident math whiz. When that doesn't work out Tim and I are back up. So far, so good. We haven't caused them to fail any assignments and like to pat ourselves on the back that we've been able to help our kiddos with homework without getting stumped. I looked at Megan's problem tonight and said the first answer out of my mouth, which was 10. Megan said, "And the answer can't be 10." If I don't get a problem within a few minutes of looking at it and reading it, I have to walk away and come back to it later. I did walk away, and said, "Who can we call who is smart in math?" Megan said, "One of your sisters." So I called Esther, who of course solved the problem for us using algebra. When I told the kids Esther was a middle school math teacher they were completely impressed. I predict one of two things will happen. Either 1) Our children will be calling Esther a lot, even before bothering to ask us, or 2) I'll give up a lot sooner on some of those really tuff math problems and call Esther. Megan said she thinks Esther should be on Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader because she "knows a lot about e=mc2 stuff." (I think she means algebra.) Thanks Es! You're smarter than a fifth grader!

Sunrise Singers Rival "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever"

The first concert of the very proud Sunrise Singers for 2008 was last Tuesday evening. For those who've been following, you know that Megan, Joie and I have been going to choir at 7:00 a.m. every Wednesday morning since somewhere near the beginning of the school year. They go to sing, and I go as a pseudo director, whose job it is to keep track of attendance. We've had a lot of fun...a few mishaps, but mostly fun. It was a little less fun when we started practicing at 7:00 a.m. two times a week, but we were there, every day, most of the time with smiles on our faces. Of course on choir day things started to unravel. The school had some other things scheduled for the day of the choir, so the leaders couldn't get in to decorate until late. The two choir leaders who don't work ended up having to decorate, and by the time they finished, one of their car batteries was dead, and they tried charging it for over an hour in the cold, with children who were hungry, tired and needing naps! When we returned to the school prior to the performance to greet the smiling children, 2 very important things were missing...the cute little sprigs of mistletoe we were to pin on choir members, and the program. They were missing because the doors to the main part of the school were locked and we had no access to an area of the school to which we should have had access. I have to hand it to the choir leader. She reminded the children, "We are professional singers," and "The show must go on." They lined up in a cramped outer hallway, trying to reconfigure order for walking on stage. Within two minutes of being in that tiny, cramped hallway, the body heat of all those students warmed things up to a toasty 90+ degrees. Students were noisy and nervous. Since the rules had changed, all rules were off. One kid got kicked, a few were crying, and several were using he walls as drums. Choir leaders were resorting to extreme tactics to control behavior, the most irrational of which was taking away the concert. (Yeah...tell that one to the parents.) Just when we would have killed for some quiet, sanity, and fresh air, the principal arrived to open the doors to the main hallway...we had mistletoe, programs, a place to line up, and AIR. The principal apologized profusely...apparently the word didn't make it from one of the secretaries to her to leave the doors open. With the help of some parents we managed to get mistletoe pinned on 80 elementary school aged children in less than 1o minutes...and the pins only dropped all over the floor two times, once right after the choir leader handed them to a boy and said, "Don't drop these!" We passed programs around the room, and started a mere ten minutes behind schedule. All went well...except the microphones didn't work, the stereo worked a little too well for the specialty numbers, and the singers for the specialty numbers got cold feet. (And Joie loves to add, "Except for me!" and she's actually right. She's not only a good singer, she's a performer, and she's at her best in front of people).

We're insane, because we do it again next Thursday, then we're done until after the New Year. We've all said, "Next year we'll know...(fill in the blank)," which means we're all still committed to do this for at least another year. Like I said, insane. But in getting to know these ladies, I feel fortunate to work with them. This is one of those volunteer positions that fills me up. It gives back to me more than I give to it. Today after practice we were laughing insanely at the chaos of last Tuesday, telling crazy stories about our children, and commiserating about Christmas shopping still left to complete. One crazy performance can't take away from the good of this overall experience. It was kind of like "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever.

Go Alta!

Megan went to the Alta-Bingham 5A state championships tonight. Alta won. The kids asked if Bingham (cousin) was named after Bingham High school. I told them Bingham High was named after THE Bingham that cousin Bingham was named after. They remembered the Bingham cabin display at Lagoon this summer, and it all started making sense. Sorry Bingham. Tonight just wasn't your night. And GO UTES for tomorrow!

Jeran for Student Council

Jeran's speech: I am Jeran Jarman and I am running for 5th grade student council…not for president of the United States. So I can’t promise to fix the economy, end the war in Iraq, solve the energy crisis, or offer solutions to global warming. To be honest, I can’t even promise shorter lunch lines, better lunches, shorter school days, or soda pop in the drinking fountains. I can promise that as a member of student council I can set a good example by following the rules, being a good friend, and representing the interests of Sunrise fifth graders and other students to the student council. I will work hard for you if I am elected to student council. Vote for Jeran!

Megan for Student Council

Megan's speech: I’m Megan. Last year I was an alternate to student council which means I already have tons of experience with student council…oh, wait… I didn’t actually have to do anything last year. So let me tell you what kind of experience I do have. I have tons of experience just being me. As a matter of fact, I’ve been me my whole life! I also have a ton of experience being a friend. I’m not an angel, but I think it’s kind of awkward when kids bully and fight and focus on who’s better than the others. Instead I like think like an ambassador. I usually try to think of how I can help other people cheer up if they are sad. If I am in student council I will think of the things that will help everyone feel good about being a student at Sunrise Elementary. Vote for Megan!

Jarman Sweep

Yes, they're both running for student council...both from the same class. With 2 possible winners per class we're predicting a Jarman sweep!

Must be crazy...

The kids brought home choir sign-up sheets today and I was very excited to see that the choir is being directed this year by one of Megan's friend's moms. Megan loves to sing and when she was in kindergarten she begged to join choir. Someone told me there were other kindergarteners who had been in choir if they had older siblings in the choir. Well, forget talking Nate into choir (although he did sign up this year in middle school). But I knew the teacher in charge of choir and volunteered to help out with signing kids in so Megan could sing a year early. Fast forward to 2008. If you know me you know where this is going... To make a long story short, I signed up to help again. I called the director and she asked me if I thought she was crazy for taking this on. I told her yes, and that I was crazy enough to call and help her. I said I was looking at the volunteer list and I was qualified for the non-musical positions. She laughed, but I think it will be fun... Then again, maybe you should ask me next month after we've been getting out the door by 7:00 a.m. every Wednesday and twice a week before performances! Megan and Joie both want to sign up, and Jeran said, "No thanks," and offered to get himself to school on time every Wednesday morning.

we had a carnival! (by kids)

okay i am not braging or anything we had a carnival on

sept. 5,2008 it was awsome in so many ways!

we had cotton candy and we had pizza ,snow cone's

it was all at the school on friday. tell me what you think

if you had a carnival at your school?!

Road Trip, School, and a Connection to Iraq

A few times this summer we've said we want to go to Colorado to visit my sister, Esther, and it has never worked out. So on the last official weekend of summer, we made it a priority and guess what? We went! And it was fun! We loved Esther's little farm and are jealous of her lifestyle. Her garden is amazing and makes us wish for more land ourselves. She amazes me. I have loved Colorado since my Philmont days, and driving through and being there always makes me wish I could move...either Colorado or Seattle...my two dream spots to live. We wish we could have spent more time, but leaving us hungry to go back is a good thing, right? Our other reason to go back and visit has four paws and a tail...yes, more pet drama. After a lot of thought and discussion, we left our puppy, Angel, in Esther's competent hands. Angel was already showing us she was happy with the farm, so she now belongs to Esther. We've heard she's adjusting well...still being Alpha girl, but Esther will be Alpha before long. We miss her but are happy she's happy. We took on a dog when our hearts wanted to say "yes" and our lives were too crazy to make the commitment. We're glad she's with Esther, because she wasn't a very happy dog here.

And on to school. It's going well. After almost 2 weeks back, the kids are doing well. All my nervousness about Nate going to middle school wasn't necessary after all. But would I be a mom if I didn't worry? I kept telling people I worried because I had no frame of reference. My own middle/jr. high experience was 2 teachers in the same building where I went to elementary school. It was a tough mental task to visualize my own son walking through a maze of nearly 1,000 students and 6 hallways to find his locker, open it, and get where he needed to be when he needed to be there. On back to school night, I stopped in the middle of a random hallway and said, "Ok Nate. Can you find your locker from here?" He said yes and asked how long I gave him. I said, "Three minutes." He said, "Easy, and open it too." And he did...probably in two minutes. I was ok after that. The crazy things moms do, right? As for the others, nothing new. Joie has more homework than she was used to last year, but she's the kind of kid who loves the challenge. Megan has figured out she loves math, thanks to a really supportive teacher last year. Megan came home and said, "Mom, guess what? I LOVE math!" Granted we're only in the second week of school, but all of the moms out there know you kind of breathe a sigh of relief any time you don't have to persuade a child to do homework. And Jeran...what can we say about Jeran? He loves school. He's in the same class as Megan so it caught us off guard this year when he said he didn't like his teacher. He usually loves to live up to the challenges teachers throw out. Jeran doesn't struggle in school so a little heat once in a while is good, right?

And a connection to Iraq. I've recently started working with more children of refugee families at work. These are often children who have witnessed horrible things in their home countries, usually African countries. But the other day one of the supervisors told me he put a 4 year old Iraqi girl into my schedule. I didn't think much of it until I did the assessment, and as I heard their story I felt a sense of awe for what Joe is doing. Tough cases bring out the fight in me and I found myself working so hard for this family to help them hopefully see a brighter day. From the time this little girl was about 2 1/2 until about a year ago she witnessed horrible things happening to her family. One night their home was attacked and militants threw a grenade under the door that exploded in the living room when she was the only one there. Another night they threw the burned body of her uncle into the house and she witnessed everything and knew also that it was her uncle. She was also in the home when it was burned and her father was beaten. He was the one telling the story in the assessment and told how he passed out after being beaten. The house was on fire and she was in the living room with flames around her when he came to. His leg was broken but he was able to get her out. They are just looking for help because this little girl wakes up screaming every night that "they're coming to get us," and one night was sleepwalking and they found her trying to climb over the second story balcony to get out of the house because "they are coming to get us." I rarely start therapy on the first visit, but felt like I couldn't send them home without helping them. The entire session took place with an interpreter, who thankfully could get animated and on this little girl's level. She colored in places on a picture of a body where she feels the scary feelings, and colored in her head and stomach. Then we practiced with blowing bubbles to get them out--blowing them into the bubbles and running after the bubbles to pop them. Then I gave her a worry rock and she practiced holding it and putting all the scary feelings into the rock, and also her nightmares. It isn't a miracle, but the family left with hope on their faces. The dad came to me and said he needs help too, which was the best part--for him to see what was happening with his daughter and feel like he had enough faith in it to ask for help himself. I was able to sit with the parents and explain PTSD (Post-traumatic stress disorder) to them and the heirarchy of safety so they could see where they are at and where they can be headed. As I've thought about it, it breaks my heart that horrible, hateful people could do so much damage to a child and a family, and to know there are probably thousands of other families going through the same thing, or worse, is sad. I remembered Joe's story about the Iraqi man thanking him and was touched by the heart of this man. It helps to see first hand that the good in that country is just as real as the evil, and I'm proud Joe is doing what he does...and our part is even smaller, just to support him and people who need help.

So those are my random thoughts about the week. I feel blessed to be a mom, to have the family I do, and to live in America.

2 and a half more weeks tell school!? (by Megan)

i wish i had no school but than i won't be able

to learn!

what should i pick?

SCHOOL or NO SCHOOL?

PICK ONE?!