What Not To Do Before the Olympics

Anyone out there not love the Olympics?

I enjoy sports, but admittedly I don't watch them a lot.  I enjoy watching most when I care about the team.

Maybe that's why it's so fun to cheer for the USA.

Enter London 2012...

I was looking forward to the Olympics.  I was even a little excited.  For sure I'd be watching whenever I could.  (At least that was the plan.)

Enter Roku.  For those who don't know what Roku is, you probably don't want the explanation from a non-techie, but in a nutshell, it's a one-time purchase that streams content to your TV or PC through wi-fi...access to Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hulu, music, TV, gaming/game station, sports, facebook, etc.  Supposedly you can even use your smart phone as a Roku command center (although I haven't figured that one out yet).  I hear you can also travel with Roku, although I haven't figured that out either, but I'm sure that it could only make electronically induced comas during road trips that much easier.

But after months of loving Roku and having commercial free programming on demand, we realized we weren't watching TV.  Ever.  We cut back our package.  We still weren't watching TV.  Ever.  So one week before the Olympics we stopped our satellite subscription.  They even sent us a box in which we could return our satellite devices.  Done.  No more satellite.  (Not without another lengthy contract we didn't want.)

But missing the Olympics was breaking my heart...

Really, really breaking my heart.

I'd hear and read about the amazing U.S. gymnastics team...

Michael Phelps...

Missy Franklin...

Stories about non-professional athletes who have pushed themselves and trained to compete against other amazing world athletes...

I was missing it all.

So yesterday Tim became my hero when he went to by an HDTV antennae.  Then he worked for hours to figure out how to get a signal (and even returned to the store and bought a new one).  

Twoo wuv...

Last night he even watched Olympics with me (and he is not a sports fan).  

Four hours of uninterrupted, commercially loaded TV.

Ahhhhhhhhh....

Power Kicker

 Trust me...  It's hard to find a more powerful kick than the one in these feet!

In her 3rd soccer season since she's been in our family, Gabby was on fire!  She scored a total of 7 goals (I think...we kind of lost track.)  And if she kicks, you better back up.  One time one of the other coaches kept telling his girls, "You better back up!  That one has a leg!"

There she is...SHE ROCKS!

Tonight was her final game of the season and she scored on a kick from mid-field.  She's already sad that the season is over.  I think she needs a season in between seasons.  Can't wait for fall!

Go Gabby!

(Photos courtesy of Megan!)

It's the Little Things That Matter

I've been following a blog lately that really touches me each time I read it.  The blog is called The Kings.  It belongs to a family in Australia who lost a son last fall, and just a few months ago lost their father.  As the now single mother chronicles her family's grief, it takes me back to remembering the feelings (that are often still so real), and remembering details about our own journey through grief that I thought I had forgotten.

Recently, the mother shared a story about one of her little boy's favorite celebrities from the TV show The Wiggles connecting with her little boy in his time of grief (see here).  A blog reader actually initiated the contact, and with such a small action, this little boy's heart was quieted, and there was a smile on his face again.  (You have to read the story...really.  It's amazing.)  It took took me back to all the little things people did for us and for Joie after her family died.  I was amazed at people's small gestures, and always so comforted by their willingness to reach out and connect with us.

And as it turns out, it's the little things that mean a lot to me today also.

On what could have been an exhausting day, I'm finding myself at the end of the day overwhelmed with gratitude.

(First of all, Tim comes home tomorrow, which his actually a big thing, so anything I might say after that might seem insignificant, but maybe it just emphasizes the importance of the little things.)

Tonight I had to run some errands, pick up kids from play practice, take Megan to soccer practice, help my kids find dinner, coordinate rides for girls I teach to a church activity (and be at the activity).  Also there was another church women's activity tonight I couldn't be at because of all the above, and Nate's soccer game I'd miss because of all the above, and getting my oldest two girls to the church to help babysit for the women's activity so other moms could go.

Another mom and dad helped get my girls to the church (little thing #1) while I was picking up girls in my church class to take to the church for our activity.  As soon as the activity started I got a call from the mom who was at Nate's game who was supposed to bring Nate home saying her son was hurt and it was cold so they were leaving early.  I was able to explain to one of the other leaders I needed to go pick up Nate (a 20 minute drive from the church), and figured the game would be over in time for me to return to the church to drive girls home. Of course the game didn't start on time and didn't get over on time, and Nate was still playing when I needed to leave, so a random mom who I've never met before volunteered to bring him home (little thing #2).

And even though it would seem frustrating that I had to be in my car 40 extra minutes today to and from a game I didn't have time to be at, it meant I got to see love in action on a soccer field today, and it touched my heart (little thing #3, that is actually a really, really big thing).

See...Nate has never played soccer before, except maybe once when he was 4 or 5.  He hated it back then.

But he goes to a small high school, and has the opportunity to play this year, and after years of health problems, it's good to see him out there going after life again and trying new things.  He gives me courage, because honestly, after all his health problems, I'd probably give up.  I'm a wimp when it comes to those kind of things.

As he's played sports this year the reactions from coaches have been incredibly supportive and encouraging.  Tonight as he was playing, I could hear his coach encouraging him to "Hustle, Jarman!"  And he did.  I could hear team mates encouraging him, and I saw him respond with an increased effort.  It brought tears to my eyes as I stood there in the cold wind watching him play, and getting into the game in a way I haven't seen him do before.

I had to leave the game before Nate scored a goal...  (DID YOU READ THAT?  NATE SCORED A GOAL!!!)  That one goal is worth 100 of Megan or Gabby's goals in soccer, because the odds haven't been in Nate's favor.

Later when Nate told me about it, he said, "Coach and my team planned it before the game.  They said they'd keep feeding me the ball until I scored...  And I did!"  

It really is the little things that matter, like a coach who cares, and a team of teenage boys who care, and moms who help me get my kids where they need to be when they need to be there, and texts that pick me up and keep me going (little thing #4 & #5).  It's love in action...proof that life matters.

And just a sidenote:  I still don't know the mom's name that gave Nate a ride home tonight, so when I asked him whose mom it was so I could thank her later, he told me (with a completely straight face) that it was the mom of a kid he didn't know from the other team.  I totally fell for it.  Grrrrrrrrrrrr.......

Sports Summary

Just in case you were wondering about the outcome of this very intense tournament...

This amazing team took 2nd place...not bad!

I'm also happy to report that in the final game, no coaches were evicted, and the team whose fans and coach struggled with sportsmanship the day before actually didn't place in the tournament.

And #33 was amazing.  

Last spring one of the parents of Gabby's soccer teammates said they would get their daughter a dog if she scored 4 goals that season.  Of course Gabby thought that wasn't fair, and begged and begged for a pet for scoring goals.  Our compromise was a day without jobs for reaching their personal sports goal...which they're all very happy about.

As per our pre-game deal with Megan, she could get out of Saturday jobs if she scored 4 or more points in one of final games.  Saturday was a pretty laid back day for #33, and she earned it.

In other sports news...

How many hungry wrestlers can you fit at a table?

Apparently, Nate's team was going to find out (that would be Nate in the brown shirt).

At their final banquet to celebrate their season, the coach gave out food assignments of every type of food they weren't allowed to eat during the season.  

Hamburgers, chips, soda, desserts...  Let me tell you...These boys can put away food, and more than made up for any food that was off limits during the season.

And of course we think Nate rocks, and we've been so, so, so, so, so happy with his sports adventures this year...  But that's a post for another day.

And on Saturday the entire family attended Gabby's basketball game (because by the end of basketball tournament week, she was absolutely convinced we all loved Megan a whole lot more than we loved her).  She has been nervous to have everyone come watch her play, but in addition to learning basketball she is learning to handle the flare ups of sports jitters that attack her on occasion, and she was awesome!  I love how she is not afraid to jump into sports teams of girls who have been playing sports their entire lives, and pushes herself to develop skills and succeed.  It's no secret we think Gabby rocks!

I've said before I'm a farm girl, and one of the biggest lessons of growing up on a farm was that hard work yields results, and at the end of the day you feel accomplished.

Now that I'm raising my own children in the city, I love how music lessons, sports, and other achievements can do the same thing.  When they work hard, they grow as people, and I love watching them push themselves beyond what they thought they could do to achieve a goal.

Now soccer is around the corner again.  Nate and Megan have already started practices...

Are there trophies for parents who live on the sidelines?

Sportsmanship

This is the most awesome 13 year old soccer player on the planet.  This picture was taken at the end of last season when her team (Orange Crush) was celebrating an awesome season.

Below is a picture of this same awesome 13 year old soccer player receiving her end-of-season award from the coach.  She got the "Happy Feet Award" for her awesome footwork.

But lately it isn't Megan's footwork that is getting noticed.  Toward the end of the Orange Crush-Happy Feet season Megan started playing goalie.  It gave me heart failure the first few times I watched her, but after a few games her skills were improving.  At this point watching her play goalie is like watching a combination of Superman lightening quick reflexes and Spiderman sticky fingers because balls just don't get past her...at least not often.  

This season Megan is in a competition league.  Tonight we played the number one team in her league.  She's got a great team and great coaches.  They don't mind playing skilled teams.  Sometimes they win; sometimes they lose.  Always they play hard, and playing in this league has definitely made them a better team.

Then there was tonight.  (And this is the point where I get that I'm still worked up over this and probably venting...)

Our girls played a team that had some great skills.  The skills of the other team could have stood on their own.  They were impressive.

But Megan was equally impressive.  Shot after shot flew toward the net and time after time Megan caught, blocked and dove, stopping some amazing shots.

Unfortunately, teams that like to win don't like to be stopped.  And even more they don't like to be scored on, which is what happened next.  It looked for a while that they'd met their match.

Then they got mean.  Really?  Why do teams do that?  Why?  And why do coaches encourage it?  There was pushing, then falling to make it look like they were ones pushed.  Then they started in with swearing, trash talking, and disrespect.  

Still, Megan stayed strong and was talking positively to her team, and trying to stay focused on the game.  By the time the second half started, the unsportsmanlike play increased and was painful to watch.  Our girls were playing hard, but it was impossible to play against mean.  

The point I about lost it was when they were ganging up on Megan inside the goal.  Part of what makes her good is that she's not afraid to be kicked, and she's taken her share of accidental cleats, but tonight she was getting kicked after she had possession of the ball, and the kicks were deliberate.  She felt helpless because nothing was being called.  

Then just a few minutes before the end of the game one of the other team members stomped on Megan when she jumped on the ball.  Her cleat met Megan's kidney, and she didn't get up.  Moms of kids who play sports know that feeling during those moments you see your child on the field hurt.  You want to run out there, but you can't until they're off the field.  Megan's coaches went to make sure she was ok, and helped her off the field.  At that point she just hugged me and cried.  I cried too.  She had played hard, and done everything she could do within the limits of the rules of the game and the rules of sportsmanship.  That she got hurt intentionally for playing well was disheartening.

A few minutes later the game massacre ended.  Megan's team lined up to shake hands with the other team.  Megan didn't walk out on the field.  She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, "I don't want to go."  To hear that from Megan (kind, sweet, doesn't-have-an-enemy-on-the-planet Megan) was even more disheartening than seeing her hurt.  Tears formed in my eyes too, and I said, "I know.  But you need to go."  And she did.

To be honest, I couldn't even watch.  How do you shake hands with the girl who just tried to take out your right kidney?  Later Megan said, "I just didn't want to hear her say 'sorry'.  She didn't mean it."

Huge. Sigh.

This is one of the hardest parts of being a mom.  I hate seeing my kids hurt, but it isn't very often I've seen them hurt intentionally.  I'm still struggling with the emotions of that one.  

At the same time I'm proud of Megan.  A conversation we had before the game went something like this:  

Megan:  "I'm nervous.  This team hasn't lost any games."

Me:  (Sensing she was asking for more than a hoo-rah) "That's a lot of pressure on yourself.  Think of it this way.  What if you do lose?  Did you play your best?  What did you learn?  If you have those things, you won."

Megan:  (pausing, then smiling)  "Wow.  I feel better.  Thanks mom.  You're a good therapist."

So what did we learn tonight?  

Sometimes people compromise dignity for winning.  

Sometimes life isn't fair.  

Sometimes it's out of your hands.  

Sometimes you have to do things that are hard, even when you don't want to.  

And always when you do all that, you can be proud that you kept your own self-respect and dignity in tact.  And Megan did.  

Tonight, even more than being proud of her lightening quick reflexes and super amazing lunges, dives, catches, and blocks, I'm proud of her as a person.

And that is why we play sports.

At the end of the day we're growing human beings, not winning games, and it's good to see human beings who learn that winning is great, but not always the most important thing...  And I'm also a little sad at the same time that there is another team of young, potentially amazing girls who are being coached differently.  Grrrrrrr....  Sad.  

Spring Soccer

Last night the girls were outside practicing soccer for their games today.  We laughed at the snow storm that wasn't, and were ready for a soccer filled Saturday...

Then woke up to six inches of snow on the ground this morning...and the soccer ball right where they left it last night.

Due to our snowier-than-normal spring, Megan's team has had to cancel 3/5 games; Gabby's team cancelled 2/5 (she plays later in the day), and Joie is now 1/3 for her team.  At this rate we'll be playing make-up soccer in July.

But what's that they say about Utah weather?  If you don't like it wait five minutes?  

Same ball.  Same yard.  Same day.  Gabby and her friend had been playing soccer and went on a scooter ride when this picture was taken.

Then they came home because it was snowing so I looked outside again, and sure enough...the five minute rule applied.

Yes, those white flecks are snow.

We're hopeful that spring is on it's way.  Meanwhile, the snowpack in the mountains is the highest in almost 30 years, and at some point it all has to come down.  The lakes, rivers, and streams are already full, and if the snow in the mountains has no where to go...

Well, let's just say that kind of scenario turns soccer fields (and a lot of other places) into swimming pools.  

We hope not...but 6 inches of snow on April 30th might mean that Mother Nature has other plans.

An Unlikely Pair

The only family member you ever get to choose is your spouse.  

I often hear myself repeating that truth, both as a parent and as a therapist.  

You don't get to choose children, parents, or siblings...

An argument could be made that in adoption we choose our children, but that's a topic for another day.

Back to the sibling issue.  If you have siblings you know the cold, hard truth that certain sibling personalities click more than others.

And since Gabby joined our family it has been fully recognized that a 14 year old boy (almost 15 "in one month and one day," he reminded me today) and a 9 year old girl don't have a lot in common.

It could even be said on some days that they merely tolerate each other.

At the same time, even on the worst days, they both have a connection that can turn sibling angst into playful banter, and Nate is the only sibling who can correct Gabby on grammar or speech. 

But mostly they just tolerate each other. 

"He's weird," Gabby says of his choices in music, friends, clothing...just about everything.  

"Why don't you go play Bar-bies," Nate will frequently say to Gabby.  And he teases her unmercifully that "Justin Bieber isn't singing with his real voice,"  ...An accusation that almost certainly will draw cries of protest (and even occasional tears) from his little sister.   

But lately they've been bonding over a mutual love of backyard soccer.

This has been our backyard view for the past few days.

Today when Nate asked Gabby if she wanted to play, she came quietly to me and whispered (with a huge smile on her face) "He just asked me to play soccer with him!"  

Then a few minutes later I heard him tell her to go ahead and he'd meet her outside, and he came to me and said, "What did she say?"  When I told him, he smiled, and acted like he was just being nice.

But remember he asked her to play.

Who cares why.  They're bonding, and I'm thrilled.

First Game of the Season

After weeks and weeks of anticipation, game day finally arrived!

Megan's first game of the season was at 8:00 a.m. this morning, and was cancelled because of snow on the field.  There should be a rule that if there's snow in any part of the day, all games should be cancelled.  

Cancelled game didn't keep Megan from wearing her jersey.  If Megan had her choice, all shirts would be jerseys...and Joie bought the skateboard from a neighbor across the sheet.

By 3:00 there was no snow on the ground or flying through the air, although the next storm of the day did start only an hour after the game.  I digress...this is about soccer, not weather, right?  

(Never mind that 6 hours later I'm still cold.)

Taking it all in.

Gabby following up a strong kick

Looks like she's been doing this for years.

Go Gabby!

(And I still say even if it wasn't too cold for the players, it was too cold for the fans...I'm a wimp when it comes to cold.)

*All photos courtesy of Megan...she makes a great photographer!