Inspired by Nutella

Dear Self:  Should I be worried that the four food groups for my 11 year old daughter are Nutella, Nutella, Nutella, and Nutella?  It's just a phase, right?  Just an itty bitty, meaningless, normal, childhood phase.

Never mind that Nutella has twenty-one grams of sugar per serving.  After all, it's also loaded with protein.  Three whole grams.

And her little vegetarian self struggles to get enough protein.  So sugar soaked protein is ok, right?

And please, dear self, whatever you do, don't start googling nutrient content of her former favorite foods to compare (quinoa bean salad, for example, with over sixteen grams of protein per serving, and absolutely no sugar).

And never mind that she won't eat any of her favorite fruits and veggies...  (sigh)

And dear, dear self, if you do start obsessing about the above nutrient content facts, please remember:  This is not about food.  This is about a little girl having a need right now to explore the limits of her control...

And as with past food phases, she'll get over it, and once again start requesting those healthy favorites...

Meanwhile, self, what's a little hazelnut wrapped in sugar and a little artificial flavoring.  It's nothing, really.  And she does eat it with whole wheat bread...sometimes.

Just remember self, that you're growing a whole person, and her heart sometimes needs to be in charge so it can catch up with her body.

That's all.  Nothing more.

So let it happen, and stop googling nutrition facts.  Her heart is thriving.

Sincerely, Me

Jarman Heartbreak Hall of Fame

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In a house full of teens it was bound to happen at some point...the sting of first love's heartbreak.

I'm not saying who, but in a family the size of ours with children as close in age as our children, there aren't a lot of secrets.

We've seen the symptoms for the past few days... (Images of the longing, sad faces of the characters in Seven Brides For Seven Brothers during that long, cold winter come to mind.)

There have even been tears, and the lament of, "Mom, you just don't understand how it feels!"  (Dear child:  There is a reason none of us want to ever re-live our teen years.  Yours truly, Your Loving, Kind Mother Who Doesn't Understand.)

And there has been anger, and plotting revenge...hoping said heartbreaker would move to California or somewhere far away.  (Or that the heartbreaker's head was a balloon that would pop or deflate.)  As the mom in the story, I'd be ok with said heartbreaker moving to California...  Or a remote island in the Pacific with no Wi-Fi or texting capabilities.

The true tragedy is the heartbreak goes both ways...  (Sigh.)

And her friend said that his friend said that he said that she said that her friend said that his friend said...

Enough already!

Only in teen life (and Desperate Housewives, which by the way, I've never seen) could it be so complicated.

So at the point in the story when it was ok for the tears to turn to levity, we started a new tradition:  It's the Jarman Heartbreak Hall of Fame.  It's currently on a dry erase board, so if you come looking, we'll destroy the evidence.  We all put names on the list.  It was a good family bonding moment.

In the process, I learned the name of Tim's 6th grade girlfriend...

And things about my children that I didn't know before, but were suddenly ok to reveal in a tell-all heartbreak impromptu family meeting.

And for the moment, all is well and said broken heart is healing, until tomorrow when one broken heart has to see the other broken heart at school and the friends start talking and texting and it starts all over again.

I have a feeling this isn't the last time we'll be turning to the Heartbreak Hall of Fame.  Welcome to life in a house full to teens!

It's Been A While...

...Almost three months since my last real blog post?  Really?  (The last two were just acknowledgement of my little hiatus.)

Mono kicked my hiney.  There are still some days I yawn at work (not a good thing for a therapist to do a whole lot of), and I'm amazed still at how fast I can feel exhausted.  Mostly though, I have more days now where I feel "normal," so I'll take it.

But really...  Where to begin?

November...  National Adoption Month.  Thanksgiving.  Most years I have a lot to say about both.  Our November tradition around here is to focus on gratitude by naming things we're thankful for every day and trying to fill up our kernel jar.

This year I heard a question early in November that made our gratitude focus a little different.  The question was "Have I seen the hand of God reaching out to touch me or one of my family members this day?"

As imperfectly as we could with crazy teen schedules and a parent with mono, we tried to focus on this question when we talked about gratitude.  ...Different twist, and I think a great way for us to focus attention on how God's hand is in the details.

Also on Thanksgiving Day, Tim and I celebrated our 18th anniversary.  Happy day.

We even left the kids overnight the weekend prior to Thanksgiving to celebrate...  All by themselves...  All five of them...  And the house was still here when we got back...  And they're all still alive.  

I know.  Amazing.  

And there's more...  So much, much more, but I'm sure we'll catch up.  Or not.  Either way, I think I'm blogging again.  Time will tell.