Things That Would Make My Life Easier

In no particular order...

• A slow cooker that never over or undercooks things, because my slow cooker is my best friend, and nothing is worse than slow cooker recipes that tell you 5-6 hours when really the food is done in 3-4 hours...or less.  
• A grocery delivery service, because there's always that one thing I forgot...  Today it was Diet Coke, Mentos, and Play Doh so Gabby can make a rocket in school tomorrow.  I did remember the Christmas card for the foreign exchange student, and the cookies for the boys that came to help with Jeran's Eagle Scout Project, but I forgot the Diet Coke, Mentos, and Play Doh.  Don't you think it would be awesome if stores rewarded frequent shopper moms like me by gifting us one free delivery a week?  Wouldn't that be awesome?
• A chauffeur...definitely a chauffer, but only when I really, really can't handle getting in the car one more time that day.  Quite honestly, I do enjoy the conversations with my kids in car, and overhearing all their conversations with their friends, and overhearing two totally off-key teenager boys sing along with the radio at the top of their lungs (laughed so hard I almost crashed the car...kidding, Mom!  But I did laugh hard, and will never, never forget it as long as I live).  But it's that One.  Last.  Trip.  Of.  The.  Day.  By then I'm out of both words and brain cells, which are, coincidentally, required to make a conversation work.  I've also been known to tune out my own children during such periods of time when brain cells are in short supply.  For times like those times it would be a huge gift to have a chauffeur.
• And while I'm at it, self cleaning dishes, laundry, and kitchen and bathrooms would be nice.  Or a maid.  By the way, my kids claim they're my maids...  Sheesh!  (Said in my best teenage protest voice.)
• And a bank account that replenishes itself would be nice also.
• And a magic wand or access to a really awesome genie without a lot of rules about wishes.

Back to reality.  Now I'm closing my eyes and pretending I don't see the dishes in the sink, or the message light blinking on the answering machine, or the slow cooker waiting for me to decide what goes in it tomorrow...

And I did not just see my oldest son walk through the door on crutches.

I need a new genie.

16.5

On November 16th, this kiddo turned 16.5.  With each passing day, I'm more and more aware that he has limited time left at home.  And I gotta admit, the idea of him not being my kiddo anymore tugs a little at my heart strings.  People, trust me...  It goes so fast.  Don't blink.

He's almost half way through his junior year.  Next year he'll be a senior.  He gets his driver's license any day now...  I made a new rule for driving the kids to school this year:  Nate gets the front seat every day he rides with us because he doesn't have very many of those days left.  (Really, it was my selfish way of keeping his close to me.  As much as I hate being a taxi mom, I love talking to my kids in the car, and the older I get, the more fun those conversations are...  And I know I have a lot fewer of those left with Nate than with any of the others.)

Friday Nate had his wisdom teeth out.  He was semi-ok Friday and Saturday.  We put a remote in his hand and gave him the really good drugs once in a while, and he was fine.  They said the worst day for pain is the third day.  Sunday was not a great day for him, and he was sure there was a piece of food stuck in the back of his mouth, and he was determined to pull it out (against the advice of his doctor, who said let it work it's way out).  When there's something bugging him, he just can't leave it alone.

In all of his obsessing about whatever was in his mouth, I said, "What if it's just your stitches?"  

Then the rest of us left Nate home alone and went downtown Salt Lake City for the LDS church's Christmas Devotional.  Nate was here alone...just him and the remote...  And a waterpik.  He was determined to get that food out.

He's in a lot of pain today.  I called the doctor and they said he may have given himself a dry socket by using the waterpik...  We'll know tomorrow.

Seriously...  One day they'll all just figure out that Mom's right and we'll avoid half of the things that fall into the "oops" category of life.  Meanwhile, good thing we have a sense of humor.  (When they were babies, someone told me I wouldn't get mad when I saw all the messes they got into if I grabbed a camera and took a picture instead of yelling.  I guess it worked.)

Today, Nate came to me and said, "Mom, what if that thing that I thought was a piece of food is stitches?"   

I have to say in his defense, that I was 16.5 once too.  I think there were also things I had to figure out for myself...like gravity.  My young and in love self decided to descend the face of a giant rock without gear because in the euphoria of being in love, we both thought it sounded like a good idea...  I fell.  Thankfully, a quick thinking ranger caught me and stopped my fall (and all I remember about him now is that he had red hair and an Aussie accent...the ranger that is, not the guy I was with). 

Then later that evening, we thought it would be fun to drive in reverse down the dirt road that lead out of the canyon.  

And my mom remembers that when I told her the story, I prefaced it with, "Before I tell you what happened, I want to tell you that I didn't even break a fingernail."  (I clearly remember holding my hands up as proof, at which time she saw the scrapes down the sides of my arms.)

And 2 days after I had my wisdom teeth out I went skiing because adrenaline took over and the thought of a ski date with someone older who I had a crush on sounded too good to pass up.  (It was my last and only date with him...wonder why?)

So I've done my share of sixteen and stupid, and Nate's obsession with his stitches and possibly creating a dry socket doesn't come close.  I forgive him.

Funny though...  Everyone in the family is now telling and re-telling the story of when Nate pulled his own stitches out when he was four.  He'd had ear tubes a few years earlier, and the hole in his eardrum hadn't closed.  Surgery was recommended to repair the hole, which involved taking a tiny bit of tissue from the back of his earlobe to graft onto his eardrum as a patch, hence the stitches in his earlobe.

I remember we brought him home from the hospital, and I did the same thing back then I did this time--put him in front of the TV.  He'd been sleepy, and fell asleep as soon as I laid him on the couch, so I went upstairs to start cleaning the kitchen.  Not even 5 minutes later he was standing there in the kitchen with blood dripping off his ear and down his shoulder, and as calmly as a kid could ask for anything he said, "Mom, can you help me get these stitches out?"  Apparently they were bugging him back then also.  I also still remember the look on the face of the nurses when I walked back into the surgical center with a bleeding child not even an hour after walking out.  And by then Nate was tired and very, very aware of the stitches in his earlobe...not our favorite day at the doctor.

Nate gets that humor softens things for me.  Today in an attempt to stop the "I-told-you-so" that he sensed might follow his stitches ah-ha moment, Nate said, "It's my own special trait.  Removing stitches."  

Nate, we love you.  And all your special traits.  Maybe you'll be a surgeon someday.  

And no, you can't wrestle on Saturday if you have a dry socket.  And I won't feel bad and give in.  (But dad might, and I might go along with it.)  

(And all this while we had carpet layers in our house from 8:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m.  Of course that only added to the fun, but new carpet!  It makes me forget everything else.)

Sunlight!

Those of us who live in northern climates know how long winters can get.  Even mild winters like this one (at least here in Utah) can get dark and hazy.  It seems like no matter how bitterly cold days can get, sunshine always feels sooooooo good!

And it's good for you...something I tell the kids all the time.  I tell them to watch the dogs, who instinctively know what is good for them.  Our house is south facing, and in the winter months, the dogs will find a patch of sunlight in the living room, or in the yard, and just lay there.

Today Gabby is sick with the cold that has seemed to plague our family for weeks now.  (Why is it everyone can't just get sick at once?)  She keeps asking me how to feel better and is faithfully drinking honey lemon water and finding healthy food to eat so she can get over her cold.

After everyone else had gone to church, I was cleaning up a little in the kitchen and walked in the living room to find Gabby stretched out on the couch.  The dogs were stretched out in their own patch of sunshine on the floor.  Thinking she might be bored, I asked what she was doing, and almost before I could get the question out she said, "I'm laying in the sunshine with the dogs."  

I love this girl!

Have you had your Vitamin D today?

Losing My Mind

I hope it's ok to discuss women issues on here.  I'll keep it G-rated, I promise.

I had a hysterectomy at the young age 31.  The subsequent hormonal changes (my boys would disagree that those words are G-rated) were a nightmare, but with the guidance of a great doctor, I was able to get through it all without going on HRT (hormone replacement therapy) and I got on with my new normal, which wasn't really that different than pre-hysterectomy (another word my boys think is not G-rated).

The worst symptoms back then were headaches and memory loss.  I felt like I was in a fog, and would lose keys, lock myself out of the house, forget appointments...  I really, really dislike brain fog.

So a while ago when I started having headaches again, I knew exactly what was happening, and I knew exactly what to do.  I started taking the right supplements, creams, etc. and felt like this would all go away, just like it did when I was 30.  The headaches went away.  The memory loss is still plaguing me.

Last week I left the keys in the ignition of the car that was parked in the driveway, unlocked, all night long.  And Tim was out of town at the time.  Disturbing!  Then this week I locked the keys in the car.  Tim had to come home from work to unlock the car for me. 

I was saying this to a nice older-than-me lady today and she said, "Oh, it just gets worse.  Get Triple A...It will pay for itself."

In the past month I've misplaced my phone more times than I can count.  I forget what I'm saying when I'm saying it.  I've forgotten when I have carpool.  I've confused children about who is picking them up and when because I'm confused myself.  I've also almost forgotten to pick children up from practices (thankfully I have other children to remind me).  Triple A might be able to help with keys, but I'm pretty sure their coverage doesn't include reminding me to pick up my children.

And I'm really not one of those people who wants to just give up and say "Oh well...  This is just menopause."  (Sorry kids...that word really is G-rated.  I'm pretty sure it's in your health book too.)

So this afternoon I've armed myself with new vitamins and supplements with acclaimed brain boosting powers.  I'm hyper-focused on nutrients and in my spare time (ha, ha) you might find me doing brain boosting puzzles and exercises.  Menopause, you will not win the brain battle.

(Meanwhile, I'm losing my mind, so if you find it, please return it to me.)

God's Perspective

Summer bickering is giving me a headache.  Offering rewards works as long as there's a reward.  Saying, "stop," and assigning extra jobs only works for a minute.

I believe that behavioral interventions change behaviors in limited settings (i.e. home, school, work, etc.)  I believe my role as a parent is larger than that of a behaviorist.  I believe if I'm not a teacher, my children will grow to adulthood and miss what it means to be a loving, kind human being who values relationships and life...

(This is going somewhere.  I promise.  And it's even funny.)

So as I've struggled with the summer bickering, I've thought more and more about what is is my children could understand that would give them a desire to put effort into relationships.  I found myself wishing they could just understand our lives through God's perspective.

So today I had that conversation with a few who were having a not-so-great day.  I asked them what they thought it was like to live with God before we came here.  We talked about lessons we might have learned from God to prepare our spirits to live on this earth.

Good discussions.

I love those moments.

In one such conversation with Nate (because he's a little older) we talked about perspective and how to keep that perspective, and see things through God's eyes.  We talked about daily contact with eternal things, like prayer, and scriptures to keep our perspective on what is important.  I loved his ideas.  I felt blessed to be Mom to such a great thinker.

But parents of teens know that moments of connectedness come with humor...because it would be horribly uncool to connect too much.  So Nate left the conversation to get on the church website to "see things through God's eyes."   A few minutes later I looked up to see something like this on the screen:

From there he progressed to google earth...images of different places in the world.  I couldn't resist.  I had to know how he got from scriptures to that.  He said, "I'm trying to see things through God's eyes."  

Hahahahahahahahahahaha!  I love it when they make me laugh.

Wish us luck in our perspective shift!

Happy 5th of July

We had an awesome 4th of July...

Idaho.  Family.  Mountains.  Campfire.  It doesn't get better than that.

Because it was awesome.  

So, so awesome!

(More pure awesomeness later...so, so much fun.)

But as awesome as our 4th of July was, we were missing one very important ingredient:

Fireworks!  

And the worst part of not being able to do fireworks on the 4th was that Gabby hasn't done fireworks before.

And she was so excited!  

But a late night in the mountains and a flat tire (yes, another one) made the prospect of fireworks insanely impossible.

But fireworks on the 5th of July are almost as fun as they are on the 4th of July...

Unless it starts raining.

So we almost didn't do fireworks again.  

Then the rain stopped.

Yeah!  

And as it got darker, it looked like it might rain again, so we took advantage of our short window of opportunity...

Doing the happy dance around the fireworks

More happy dance...

Question:  How many girls does it take to light a match in the wind?

One

Two

Three!

Then add some more wind...

At that point we were standing ready with the hose.  

Then the wind picked up more and the firework started blowing around in the street, shooting sparks everywhere!  

Thankfully we did not become a 4th of July statistic on the evening news, but the wind (and rain that followed) did end our very short fireworks program.

The good news is we have a lot of fireworks left over.

The better news is Gabby got to light a firework before the wind kicked up.

Definitely a Happy 5th of July!

(Photos compliments of Nate...especially those last ones because I was the one freaking out, thinking we'd start our neighborhood on fire.  Trust a 15 year old boy to capture the beauty in that moment of panic.)

Oh...one last thing.  Tim is sporting a new look today.  I had to do a double take when he walked in the door from getting a haircut...because this creature of habit who has only ever had one hairstyle the entire time I've known him let the stylist get brave...

Yes, folks.  That's a faux hawk.

But just to make sure he didn't waste his good hair day, he took the girls for ice cream.  (Jeran is at scout camp and Nate opted to stay home rather than be seen in public with dad sporting a faux hawk.)

Yes, most definitely Happy July 5th!

Just Me and My Boy Scouts--Rated PG-13

My boys rock at Boy Scouts.  I have the pins to prove it.  I've never quite figured out though why I get the pins when they get rank advancements.  I always say they need to pin them on Tim because he works so hard with them, but they're called "mother's pins," so I get the honor.

A few pictures of my Boy Scouts trying to pin on the mother's pins at recent Court of Honor:

Jeran started by pinning the pin up near my shoulder (watch out ladies...he'll be pinning a flower on your daughters in a matter of years).

Then Nate followed Jeran.  Apparently my shoulder is the "safe zone."




In a few weeks these same boys will be attending a scout leadership training camp where they will be required to wear the full scout uniform during official meetings.  Today the lucky job of taking them to the scout store to buy the uniforms fell on me.

They tried on pants (torture for boys).

They tried on pants again (just to make sure they had the right size...double torture)

Then they tried on pants a 3rd time after we bought them because the pants come unhemmed and the cashier told me they could size the boys and someone would come pick up the pants, hem them, and all I had to do was pick them up in a few days.  It was like she'd told me I just won a vacation and spa treatment.  Done!  (Except for convincing my boys to put the pants on again because they had already been tortured enough!)

Then we got back in the car for what might have been an uneventful ride home...except it was me and my boy scouts and things are never super uneventful when we're all together.

Somehow the subject went from boy scouts to a conversation they had with dad a few weeks ago about the females in the family.  I'll spare all of you (and them) the details but let's just say dad used a word the boys didn't understand, so the boys decided to "ask ChaCha" what it meant.  (For those who don't know, you can text ChaCha any question and ChaCha will answer.  Personally, I've found it useful a few times.  If I don't know something I'll say to my kids, "Ask ChaCha."  And once when we were meeting with an adoption agency representative about Gabby's paperwork and we had a question she couldn't answer, ChaCha came through for us...score one for teen sons and technology.)

But back to the story...  Gaining information about sensitive biological issues from ChaCha?  I must have been neglecting my parental duty.

So I started to explain...probably one of those times the boys weren't sure if they really loved having a very honest and descriptive mom.

I knew I'd said too much when I started hearing, "La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la...." from the back seat and looked back to see one of my boy scouts with hands over his ears.

But I can bet we'll all laugh about our day for years to come...

And I'll try not to be too hurt that they thought to ask ChaCha but didn't ask me...

And I'll be glad that ChaCha was technical enough in it's response that they still needed a mom.

And I promise not to make them try on any more clothes, at least until August.

And for more humor...  I'd almost forgotten about this older post, but I promise if you read you won't be disappointed!

It's the End of the World As We Know It

You all heard the world was supposed to end Saturday, right?

Yes, really.  The end of the world.

The End.

So I decided that I could risk not doing laundry all week.  It's my least favorite task, so if the world is ending...

And it piled up in the laundry room until Friday morning when the laundry started creeping from the laundry room into the hallway, so before children were awake, I forced myself to start a load of laundry (just in case the world wasn't ending).

About 20 minutes later Megan went into the laundry room to get something out of her basket and came running upstairs to tell me the laundry room was flooding.

The universe was trying to tell me something:  No laundry.  The world was ending, and I did not need to do laundry (but just in case I called Tim who worked for a plumber in one of his former jobs, and he said he'd take a look at it later...which he did between his shift yesterday and another shift early this morning).

Bad news.  It wasn't the plumbing.

And since the world didn't end Saturday as planned, I had piles of laundry and no washing machine, which meant a trip to the laundromat after Saturday soccer mania.  (Go Orange Crush and Pink Bubble Gum Blasters...who both rocked today!)

And did I mention that it has rained all week?  Saturday was the first beautiful, sunny day since...  I don't remember when we last had a sunny day.  We're floating away here in this mountain desert of Utah.

So instead of working in the yard and planting the garden and celebrating in the sunshine I did laundry.  In a laundromat.

But Megan and Gabby came with me, and when we stopped by buy quarters at the grocery store we also bought a deck of Old Maid cards, so it wasn't so bad...and I only got Old Maid once.

And then there was the turtle story today.  Which I won't tell right now because it's a long story, but please enjoy our former turtle stories...here (look for all the stories with pictures of turtles).  And just know that there's another awesome turtle tale coming soon.

Wordless Wednesday Prank

Would you plant these in the back yard to see if you could grow a donut tree?  I have two girls who got really excited about the idea.  Fun times!

Eyesight Over 40

I had my first over forty-bad-eyes experience today.  

Actually, I've seen it coming for a while (pun intended)...the tiny print on food labels and medication bottles...blinking a few times then being able to read it.  I just need a new contact prescription, right?

But tonight I had one of those moments where it was hard to deny what was happening.  

Gabby had a sliver in her foot "that has been there since I was eight, but I think it happened yesterday."

It had at least been in there long enough that it was really, really in there.

My only other experience with Gabby and needles to this point in our relationship wasn't pretty.  It involved two nurses and myself and vaccinations.  

I wasn't super excited to repeat that experience, so I gave the needle to her.  The entire family was piled on our bed watching TV and giving Gabby pointers:

"You have to let mom do it,"

"If you look at the TV, you can't even feel it."

"Just wear shoes when you go outside and you won't get slivers in your feet."  

After a few minutes she gave me the needle, and told me to do it.  She leaned up against Tim for support and we agreed that if it hurt, she'd say, "Ow!" instead of kicking.  She was awesome!

But my eyes weren't.

That tiny needle...that tiny sliver...They just weren't connecting.

I said I couldn't see it, so Gabby helped by moving her foot closer.  I pulled back to see.  That's when I knew I was really in the over-forty bad eye crowd.  

After a while she decided to try again...

By this time everyone but Tim, Gabby and I were in bed...but as you can see Tim's support role had taken on a very passive role.

A few minutes after I snapped this shot, I got out the flashlight and Gabby said it helped but her leg was hurting from being bent, so she held the flashlight for me while I tried again.  Success!  

But I still don't need drugstore glasses...

As long as Gabby wears shoes outside..  And as long as she'll hold the flashlight for me

Change of topic:  I just have to brag for a minute.  I came home from work this afternoon to this:

Bottled beans, compliments of Tim

Being the prepared-for-any-emergency type, our storage room has been stocked with dry beans for years...beans we'll never use because we buy them in cans.

Tim learned from my sister-in-law (thanks Melissa!) about bottling them so you can use them.  Water.  Beans. Salt.  Pressure cooker.  

No wonder he was so exhausted!

Best Laid Plans

Flexibility is our motto around here.

There is a Latin proverb that states, "It is an ill plan that cannot be changed."  

With five children in three different schools, two parents with job schedules that change randomly, pets, cars, a house, a yard...

You get it.  There's a lot of potential for things to go off plan, and a high need for flexibility.


But there are some days that plans can't change.  And if they do...

Well, never mind.  They just can't change, and that's that, because I said so and I'm the mom!

Today's plan:

• Tim go to work at 3:00...work until 11:00.
• Mary work until 1:30.
• Go to the store to buy soccer treats and Activity Day snacks.
• 2:15:  Pick up Nate from school
• 2:30:  Arrive at Gabby's school with Indian clothes, bangles, and bindis (for the class), so that Gabby can have her Star Student moment.
• 2:55:  School out, snacks, and sometime before 3:40 get keys to the church, and get snacks ready for Activity Days.
• 3:40:  Pick up Activity Day girls that need a ride.
• 3:50:  Arrive at church to unlock and set-up for Activity Days 
• 4:00:  Start Activity Days (someone coming to teach the girls yoga...ahhhh...feel the relaxation.)
• 4:50:  Finish yoga and hand out healthy snacks (because that's what you eat when you do yoga.)
• 5:00: Leave the church, rush home, change to soccer clothes, gather soccer snacks.
• 5:30:  Megan's soccer practice
• 5:30:  Joie's soccer game 
• 6:30:  Middle school parent teacher conferences
• 7:30:  Crash...maybe eat if there's enough energy left.

Today's actual events:

• Worked until 1:30
• Bought various snacks before picking Nate up at 2:15
• Nate was 5 minutes late walking out of the school, and gets in the car with a swollen, hurting-so-bad-he-won't-use-it right wrist and a story that made no sense about how he was hurt.
• Arrive at the school at 2:40...Ten minutes late but still enough time for Gabby to change into Indian clothes and field questions about India to her class for 10 minutes (her choice as something to do for star student).  The class claps; she gets her moment, and everyone wants a bindi, even the boys...which they use to stick to various parts of their faces, hands, ears...I even saw one kid trying to stick it on his tongue.
• Arrive home later than usual because we talked too much to too many people leaving the school.
• Girls go inside to change for yoga while Nate and I are on the phone in the car with the high school vice-principal trying to trace what happened...not a whole lot of luck.
• Phone call to Tim to discuss whether or not to take semi-injured child to Urgent Care for an x-ray. "If I can get the girls to yoga, and leave the other Activity Days leader in charge, I can take Nate for an x-ray," I say.  (This next part is me being delirious...)  "Then," I say, "If they're really fast at Urgent Care..." (told you I was delirious.)   "...I'll be to Joie's game at 5:30."  This is where Tim said something about me sounding stressed (at least he didn't say delirious), and, "I'm taking a sick day, and I'll take Nate to get an x-ray."
• Picked up girls on time and we got to the church by 3:53 p.m.
• The key to the church didn't work...  That's ok.  It's a beautiful day.  We'll do yoga on the lawn.  (Told you we were flexible.)
• Another person arrives who has a key...  Yeah!
• It's 4:20 by the time everyone arrives, but we get started (only two girls hid in the church), and peace and tranquility reigned for the next 30 minutes...  Well actually it was only for about 28 1/2 minutes, and it was just kind-of, sort-of tranquil because girls kept giggling at poses...and the eagles in the eagle poses kept trying to attack the other eagles...  But for 28 1/2 minutes I almost forgot that my perfectly planned day was nearly foiled, and all was right with the world.
• Sometime during the last 2 1/2 minutes of yoga I wrenched my back.  Actually, it was sort-of wrenched last week, but it had been feeling better so I did yoga.
• Ouch, ouch, ouch!  Owie, ow owwww!  ...Keep moving...inhale...exhale...(ouch!)...lay flat on the floor...(ahhhhh...if I could just stay here...maybe when I sit up it will be a dream)...nope...(ow!)...standing...standing...(ok...as long as I just stand)...bending over to pick up purse (ouch!)...finding girls who ran to hide even though we just said, "Play right here in this area, and eat your snacks and no hide-n-seek."  (By now I was starting to walk funny.)
• By 5:10 we finally found all the girls, and I could barely sit to drive, but we had a soccer practice and soccer game to get to by 5:30...at two different parks...no worries.  Megan's friend was picking her up.
• Megan who had to be at soccer by 5:30 was at the doctor's office with Tim (because they also thought Urgent Care might be fast that day), so I drove to pick her up, barely in time for her friend to pick her up for practice...which was actually a part of the original plan because I couldn't get to a game and a practice at the same time.
• Drive to the soccer field to find no green shirts.  The game was actually at 6:30.  I hadn't bothered to check the paper...just assumed because every other game was at 5:30...  
• Finally!  A few minutes to find the ibuprofen...maybe I can drive now...and I'll just stand for the game instead of sitting.
• 5 something-ish...close to 6:00:  Walk out the door to take Jeran to a really quick parent teacher conference (because in middle school they're about as quick as Urgent Care...)
• As we're leaving, Tim pulls into the driveway with Nate who is sporting a temporary cast.  Looks like a hairline fracture, but we'll find out tomorrow...  And what's that Nate?  You kicked a Polynesian kid while he was peeing?  Dude.  Did you see how big he is?
• 6:30  Tim takes Joie to soccer while I take Jeran to parent-teacher conferences (and Megan meets us...runs over from the practice field in her sweaty shirt and cleats).
• My back is still screaming with pain...still driving...still walking funny...sitting down in middle school desks...standing...maybe standing...big breath...standing...standing...Do I have to sit again? In those desks?  
• 7:30:  Joie gets yelled at by another player's mom who thought it was unfair that Joie didn't give her 3 year old any treats after the game.  She handled it well and came home and finished homework.

The pillow rolled up under my back right now feels much, much better, and I won't be in pain tomorrow...  Did you hear that back of mine?  I won't be in pain because I said so and that's that and I'm the mom!

Plan for tomorrow morning:  Tim leaves for work at 7:30.  I meet with principal and Nate at 7:30...  Megan and Jeran (who don't have school) help Joie and Gabby get out the door by 7:50 so we can start all over again.  See?  Back hurting is not in the plan.  Neither is a chiropractor appointment.  Because I said so and that's that!

But tonight I've decided it's all about perspective.  Somewhere in Alabama my sister and her family are without power, sheltering other families whose homes aren't habitable, and facing the daunting task of rebuilding neighborhoods and cities.

My backache is nothing.

Yoga...The girls in moment of peace and tranquility before the back wrenching incident

"Horses!"

Actually I think this picture is cows.  I can't really tell, but there are numerous such pictures on my phone, which was in the possession of Gabby Saturday when we went to Idaho for the funeral.

Earlier in the week, while at the cabin, we learned that anytime we drove past a field or barn of horses or cows, Gabby would get excited and start shouting, "Horses!  Horses!"  

At first siblings tried to make the distinction between horses and the various other animals we saw in fields, but the distinction was lost in the excitement.  

When Gabby became a little frustrated at attempts to identify the correct animal, we told her about when Nate was younger and we'd drive past fields and he'd say, "Mooooooo..." to everything.  She thought this was pretty funny.  It is kind of exciting to see herds of enormous animals in fields when you haven't seen a lot of that before...

And I suppose if we were all in India and saw a monkey or elephant while driving down the road we'd all get a little excited too.  ...Which makes me wonder if there were elephants in fields in Utah or Idaho if Gabby would get excited.  Hmmmmmm.....

Last Saturday the excitement over horses happened all over again while driving through rural Idaho, this time with cousins in the car.  Soon we were all saying it..."Horses!  Horses!" 

In fact I almost shouted, "Horses!" when I drove past a field the other day without children in the car.  

Yes, really.  Now who's laughing?

It's another of those adoption "firsts," and its fun to see those firsts through Gabby's eyes.

Speech Lessons

Gabby is a fast learner, but still struggles with the pronunciation and vocabulary of a relatively new language...and let's face it.  English isn't the easiest language to learn.

At first she didn't like anyone telling her how to say words.  Now she allows it, especially from the other kids.

This afternoon while driving to Grandpa and Grandma Jarman's house, they were working on pronunciation of "v," which  usually sounds something like a mix of a "w" and "b."

Nate to Gabby:  Victor
Gabby:  Wictor
Nate:  vvvvvolume
Gabby:  wolume
Nate:  virtual
Gabby:  vvvvvwirtual
Nate:  (Some random sentence containing a lot of "v" words.)
Gabby:  (Jumbled repetition of sentence with valiant attempts at pronunciation.)
Then without missing a beat, Nate says, "Ok.  Repeat after me:  The rain in Spain..."
Gabby:  The rain in Spain...
Nate:  ...stays mainly in the plains.
Gabby:  What?
Nate:  (still not cracking a smile)  ...stays mainly in the plains.
Gabby repeats.
Nate:  The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plains.
Gabby was repeating again, but by then no one else could contain the laughter...and Tim was singing.  (Did I ever mention that we love musicals around here?)

Gabby loved the moment, but didn't get what everyone was laughing at.

My question:  Do we show her My Fair Lady?

April Fool's Day

Uneventful.

Except for one prank that backfired on me.

It was a beautiful spring day so when I got home from work we went to park.  The girls brought some friends along and asked to play night games on our street after we left the park.

(Commencement of April Fool's Day joke)  I was a killjoy and said no.

My plan was to say yes a mere 5 minutes later.

I dropped off the friends (who live just down the street) and went back to the park to chauffeur the boys home.

Less than five minutes had passed.

Gabby met me in the driveway with the saddest look on her face I have ever seen.  I thought it was the perfect time for the surprise.

"April Fool's!"

"I was kidding!"

"You can play night games!"  


Instead of a smile she started sobbing.  Real tears.  Apparently I had already ruined her night.

When the tears stopped stopped flowing she said, "That is not a joke.  You made us sad!"


Finally she went to get her friend to play.

A few minutes later her friend was standing in the doorway with matching red puffy eyes.  She had been crying too.

Apparently they can't be apart.

Ever.

The funny thing is when Gabby went to get her friend to go to the park, she came home pretending to be sad, and told me her friend couldn't go.  Then when I was being just the right amount of sensitive and sad for her, she burst into a smile and said, "April Fools!"  Her friend was hiding outside the door.

I'm a little glad this day is over.

Going to bed to check my sheets for surprises left by my kiddos.

Love Note on a Chilly Day

What we woke up to Sunday morning... 

Every time it snows this time of year we hope it's the last, but that usually doesn't happen until June.

Maybe yesterday wasn't our last supercold soccer game.

And Gabby wins the award for the most creative formats for love notes.

First a soccer ball, now a toilet paper roll.

I've never been given a toilet paper roll love note before.  

I think I'll keep it.

Running Away

If you live with kids, you know at some point you're going to hear those woeful words:


"I'm running away!"


That was last night for our adult wannabe girl.

Because the recreation center we go to doesn't allow children under 12 to be unsupervised in the facility.

Ridiculous rule.

"But Mo-om.  I'm eleven and a half!"

I was desperately trying to understand the logic (more especially how I got sucked into an argument about rules I didn't create).


Because apparently, eleven and a half year-olds are the new twelve.

And in an attempt to prove her maturity, she ran away.

In her still-wet swim suit.

Because in the spring, 40-something degrees is the new 80.

But she came back.  Within minutes.

"Because you're a bad mom!  You didn't even bring me a jacket!"


Then we talked.

Then she showered and buried herself in toasty warm blankets and slept.

And she's still sure that even though most eleven and a half year olds should be supervised in the gym, she's old enough for no supervision.

Hmmmmm....

It might work.

...As long as they'll hand kids a jacket when they run out the door.

Twin Prank

We've always called Megan and Jeran our pseudo-twins, or like-twins.  We're even part of a like-twins email group and have participated in a study on virtual twinning.  Megan and Jeran are only 7 weeks apart in age, and in some ways it's like having twins.  In other ways it's not even close.  (For example, I didn't have to give birth to both of them!)

When they were younger I was actually asked a few times if they were twins.  Have you ever seen them side by side?  It's funny what people ask when they're trying to make sense of what they see.

Megan and Jeran continue to have a close relationship.  They bug each other, but they're friends.  As they get older, even though they have separate friends, their friends are comfortable hanging out together.  They seem to know it's just part of the package.

We've always talked about how "real twins" get to do dating pranks and pranks in school as they get older to fool people.  We didn't think that would ever apply to Megan and Jeran, but I think they may have just figured out a prank of their own.

Jeran and Megan are in a big school of about 1500 other students.  It's easy not to know everyone.  Jeran was in class a few days ago and the following conversation took place:

Friend:  Hey, what do you think about dating in 7th grade? 

Jeran:  Dude. No way! 

Friend:  What about that tall dark-ish girl you're always hugging? 

Jeran:  Dude.  That's my sister!

But of course in middle school when kids deny romance, it just fuels curiosity.  Jeran's prankster brain shifted into overdrive.

After school they were all out front waiting to be picked up.  Jeran's friend was with him so Jeran ran up to Megan and gave her a hug.  

Freaked out Friend:  See! I told you you had a girlfriend! 

Megan and Jeran were laughing hysterically, and at that point, even though they continued to claim sibling status, his friend was sure they were lying.  

About then I drove up.  As Jeran, Megan and the rest of the carpool were piling into the car (still laughing), Jeran's friend came running up to the car.

Still Freaked Out Friend Pounding on My Window:  Hey!  Are they brother and sister?  

Me:  Yes.

Slightly Confused Friend:  Oh...  Really?

Me:  Yes, really.

Too funny! 

I have sisters who are identical twins and used to switch dates, take tests for each other, and various other things to take advantage of their twin status.  I think Megan and Jeran are just beginning to figure out the possibilities of pranks involving their non-identical sibling status.

Cookies or Playdough?

Lately we're on a bit of a health kick at our house. Actually, it's more than a kick...we've been making a lot of changes, and the kids have been troopers, jumping right on board. Tonight Megan wanted to make cookies for lunches. We figured out the recipe using agave nectar instead of sugar, and whole wheat flour. Whole wheat flour is kept along with a lot of other baking items in our pantry in a clear plastic container. Have you ever noticed how much gluten looks like whole wheat flour? Maybe not so much, but looking through a clear plastic container the differences between the two really narrow. Megan held up a container and asked if it was whole wheat flour. I said, "Yes." The end result was cookies that looked a lot like they were made of stretchy plastic. They were a lot of fun to play with, not much fun to eat. The verdict is still out on whole wheat, agave nectar chocolate chip cookies.  We'll be sure to let you know how they turn out!

"Mom, this cookie won't break."

"Look, Mom! Playdough!"

Advice From the Good Doctor

Dr. Seuss is one of my favorite authors of all time.  Can anyone else say so much in so few words, and make it rhyme?  He truly is a geniuss.  All the answers to life's questions can be found in the words of Dr. Seuss.  He said it best.  "Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple." 

Sometimes the good doctor's advice comes in the form of nonsense.  "When beetles fight these battles in a bottle with their paddles and the bottle's on a poodle and the poodle's eating noodles...they call this a muddle puddle tweetle poodle beetle noodle bottle paddle battle."  Nonsense?  Or Shakespeare?  You decide.  Dr Seuss would tell you, "I like nonsense.  It wakes up the brain cells."  If you don't believe him, go back and read about the beetles in the bottles on the poodle eating noodles.  Or remember that the source of the quote said, "Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope."

And would any great doctor leave humor out of the prescription?   Not Dr. Seuss.  "From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere."  And just in case you need a mental picture, he also says, "In my world, everyone's a pony and they all eat rainbows and poop butterflies!"  Laughing yet?  I do every time I hear that line.

He's got quotes for the serious thinkers as well.  "The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go." 

And for falling in love:  "We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love."  He can even tell you whether or not you are in love:  "You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."  If you've been in love you know that feeling.

For loss:  "Don't cry because it's over.  Smile because it happened."  Good advice.  But if you can't smile, "I’m glad we had the times together just to laugh and sing a song.  Seems like we just got started and then before you know it, the times we had together were gone."

Manners:  "For a host above all must be kind to his guests."  But then again we all cheered for Thudwick, the big hearted moose when he set good boundaries and made all those creatures leave!  Who knew Dr. Seuss was a therapist too?  If there's any doubt, all you need to read is, "I'm afraid that sometimes you'll play lonely games too.  Games you can't win 'cause you'll play against you."  Or for the anxious soul:  "If things start happening, don't worry, don't stew, just go right along and you'll start happening too."  Ahhhh, therapy.

But then again if you've had it with therapy, "I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!"

Forever a champion for the underdog.  "Today you are You, that is truer than true.  There is no one alive than is Youer than You."  And an advocate for friendship:  "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better.  It's not."

And there was no question how he felt about children.  He reminded us, "A person's a person no matter how small."  Growing up I couldn't stand oatmeal.  That didn't stop my mother from trying to convince me my tastebuds were wrong and she was right.  I knew for sure Dr. Seuss understood me when I heard the words, "I do not like green eggs and ham.  I do not like them, Sam I Am!"  And I took the good doctor's advice even back then and decided I would not "eat them here or there.  I will not eat them anywhere."  For me the story stopped there.  Sam (I mean mom) never convinced me to "try them and you'll see."  I still can't eat oatmeal. 

Happy birthday, Theodore Seuss Geisel.  Thanks for all your simple wisdom!

How to lose 2 children in one day

2 missing children

I know already you think I'm kidding...unless you're a parent and you know you just can't make this stuff up, and it really, really does happen.

Child #1--Jeran. Every Wednesday morning I leave for choir at 7:00 a.m. with Megan and Joie. I even occasionally pat myself on the back for getting us out the door by 7:00 a.m., with Nate and Jeran leaving at 7:30 and 7:50 respectively to walk to school. 


This past Wednesday I left at 7:00 a.m. in a snow storm. As I'm driving to the school with Megan and Joie, I'm thinking, "I'm a really, really bad mom to have my boys walking to school in this snowstorm," so once I was at the school I got someone to cover for me and called the boys to tell them I was coming to pick them up. 


Clue #1 that something is wrong: No one answers the home phone. 


To myself I'm thinking, "Maybe Nate left early because it's snowing...Maybe the phone is off...Maybe...Maybe..." 


And sure enough as I'm driving who do I see walking down 11400 South, but Nate. I picked him up and he was happy to have the ride, but looking a little like he'd just been caught doing something he wasn't supposed to do. I ignored it, and said we'd go pick up Jeran at the house before I dropped him off. 


Clue #2 that something is wrong: Nate says, "Uhhhh.....Jeran's not home." 


By now, things are clicking, and without even asking I knew Jeran had walked to school early to play on the playground, thinking I wouldn't know because I had already left. Come to find out he'd been meeting a friend there to play before school...a whole hour before school! For the past four weeks! 


And where was I? Tucked safely inside the school with a bunch of elementary school children singing the Chipmunks Christmas song! 


The whole time I'm driving Nate to school I'm thinking of all the possible ways to ground Jeran for the rest of his life...take away electronics...take away friends...take away Christmas! (Grrrr....can you feel the blood boiling?) When I had dropped off Nate and returned to the elementary school, I walked first to Jeran's class, sure that by that time he'd be frozen and wanting to come inside. 


But off course his teacher hadn't seen him either. 


When I walked outside (still blizzard conditions), there was Jeran playing with his friend on the new playground equipment at the school. No one else was out there, just the two of them. All the other children where home safe in their nice warm houses getting ready to be dropped off by their parents. As it turned out, my child had been scaling the back fence of the school every Wednesday morning for the past 4 weeks to play with his friend (who arrives early with his grandma who is a lunch worker). 


You should have seen the look on his face when I yelled, "Jeran!" (I actually couldn't see the look on his face until he got much closer because of all the snow.) He followed me inside the school, and by this time neither of us said much of anything. He knew he'd been caught. I knew we'd talk later. 'Nuff said.

Child #2--Joie. For starters I'd like to say to all the Joie fans out there, I really, really do take good care of her. We just lost her for an entire hour. That's all. On a cold snowy afternoon. The same cold snowy day I lost my son... Really, it was nothing. 


Let me set the scene. I'm at work looking at the clock knowing Jeran will be home soon, and thinking I just really, really wanted to call and make sure he was ok after our rough morning, and to let him know I'd be home soon. 


I called about the time they would usually get home and Megan answered. She said she and Jeran were there, but not Joie. I asked where Joie was and she said she didn't know, that she waited and waited and her feet got cold so she thought maybe Joie got a ride so she walked home. 


I then called Tim, who gets home about the same time as the kids and was just pulling into the neighborhood. He drove to the school to find Joie, and couldn't find her. The office staff looked. The PTA Bookfair volunteers looked. No one could find her. 


Tim called me, and by then I knew my 3:00 appointment wasn't showing up so I was going to leave. He said he'd start going to all her friends houses looking, and I was on my phone driving home calling friends. One of her friends' older brothers answered the phone and said Joie wasn't at their house, but his sister wasn't home from school yet either and he thought they might be playing in the snow somewhere.  Tim got more details, and sure enough, there she was, playing in the snow around the corner from our house.

Seriously, we have only 2 rules about walking home. Rule #1--Wait for each other. Rule #2--Walk home together. It's simple. And yet Megan with cold feet, and Joie with her spontaneous nature (who also claimed cold as her defense and yet was out playing in the snow for an entire hour), found nearly logical explanations for doing it differently.

I'm proud now to report that all our children are home, and have been in our care for the past 31.25 hours without anyone else going missing. We may just yet earn our parent of the year awards!