Ahhhhhh, Parenting! The journey that begins at conception and doesn't ever end. It's a myth that parenting ceases when children turn 18 (or so I'm told...we're not quite there yet). Our hearts, souls, bodies, time, money, emotions, and faith connect us to our children for a lifetime...even longer.
It's that lifetime connection that makes me passionate about parenting. It's a task that can drain and challenge me like no other, but at the end of the day it's the connection and bond with these living, breathing, developing human beings that keeps me coming back for more. Life's greatest blessings have come to me through my family, and through sharing the joys and adventures of raising children with Tim, my husband.
In our role as parents of these children, we're both keenly aware that neither of us have been here before, and we're both figuring this out as we go along. We don't always agree on parenting issues either (shhhh... don't tell our children).
I also happen to be a mental health therapist, and I work daily with children, families, and couples. The subject of parenting is raised in that setting multiple times daily. I've taught parenting groups, helped parents work out behavior plans and interventions on everything as simple as sleeping problems (not simple if you're living it), to dealing with extreme tantrums. At the same time, I tell parents all the time it is 100x easier to talk about parenting in an office than it is to be a parent at home.
Imagine for a minute the parenting discussions that take place in our house. Imagine being Tim. He works with computers for a living. It takes a strong (and flexible) relationship to get around some of the potential land mines in our particular relationship combination. (And sometimes the joke is it's a contest to see which one of us is strong, and which one is flexible.)
Common goals are important. We both agree that parenting with compassion and intent is important. We both rely on each other to step in when one of us is burned out. Also, because we both work, we have to back each other up with choices that are made when the other parent is in charge.
If I had to name one thing that is important in parenting, I would say: Find what works for you.
You know your children.
You know yourself.
The best interventions in the world can't work if they don't meet your personal needs of those of your family.
When I talk to parents about solving parenting challenges, we talk about combining proven methods with individual needs, and personal and family strengths to create parenting solutions that make families work. Those methods evolve as children, families, challenges, and life evolves, so it's safe to say that as soon as anyone thinks they have it figured out, it will change.
The one thing that doesn't change about parenting is change. That and love. What a journey!
