Cuddle Time Comeback

Yeah!  I get my cuddle time back with Gabby!

Last month there was some bedroom shuffling.  Gabby no longer wanted to be in her own room so she gave up her very own dark pink room that was painted just for her to share a room with Joie.  (Note:  The verdict is still out on this choice.)

Megan hates pink, but was willing to have a dark pink room if it meant she could have a room to herself.  (She managed to craftily cover all the vinyl butterflies on the wall with posters and signs.)

Gabby no longer cares about room color, and was thrilled to have the top bunk.

I had some mixed feelings.  Every night since Gabby came into our family we've had some cuddle and talk time at bedtime.  I have to admit there was a little part of me that was pleased to see Gabby being independent about bedtime, but I was also sad to see it go.  I feel like I missed out on 9 years of cuddling with her before she came here, and wanted to see it last.  I've missed our time together at night, and I sometimes look at her up there on that top bunk and can barely reach her to hug her.  Cuddling at bedtime became a thing of the past.

Lately I've started noticing things are different between us.  I couldn't help thinking that one-on-one time needed to make a comeback, but I was fighting the part of me that knew she also had to spread her wings, and still didn't say anything.

But last week she started hanging out on the couch with me when scripture reading was finished.  It happened a couple of times.

Then tonight she was stressed so I suggested some cuddle time.  In the stress of the moment she said, "no," but a few minutes later she appeared in the kitchen and hugged me, so we sat on the couch to cuddle.

(Ahhhhhh.  My cuddle fix.)

This time I spoke up.  "I've kind of missed our cuddle time and talk time since you moved up to that top bunk," I told her.

"Me too," she said.  Then she asked if we could say prayers together also.  That's something else I've missed.  Apparently I wasn't alone.

So our new plan is to have some cuddle time on the couch before bedtime.

Yeah!  I'm so glad she hasn't outgrown it yet.

Sunday Sharing

General Conference Sunday:  Today I can't say it better than this.  

Where's Fall? (And Meeting New Friends)

Missing: Fall

Last seen wearing red and golden leaves and cooler weather. Also answers to the name Autumn and is a fan of football and pumpkin pie. If seen, please return to Utah.  We miss you. (Borrowed from my friend' Shawna's facebook post...except she was missing fall in El Paso.)

I think I've said before I don't have a favorite season.  I love them all...but only when they're new.  I love the seasons changing.  I would get tired of the same season all the time.  This year the seasons in Utah are confused.  We had the longest spring ever.  Summer didn't arrive until mid-July.

Now I'm seeing pumpkins everywhere, and neighbors are beginning to decorate their yards for Halloween.  We had parent teacher conferences for jr. high and high school this week.  Stores are selling Christmas items, yet it was 89 degrees outside today.

Tomorrow it will be October, and I'm looking forward to sweatshirt and sweater season.

I need fall.

Soon.

*************

And now (drumroll please) for some new friends...  A few of you will be new to this blog today, visiting from Diapers and Divinity.

If you're new here, there are a few things you should know:

• My children amuse me, so yes, I blog about them.
• I also blog about any random thing that I might find fascinating, like abnormally warm fall weather.
• I started this blog about four years ago, when tragedy struck our family (see here).
• That means I also blog (sometimes through tears) about grief and loss.  But you should know I also blog about healing, and I hope we communicate through our stories that the joy of healing is just as real as the pain of loss.
• I also blog about adoption, and since our two most recent adoptions are older children, I blog also about the bonding process involved, which can be both difficult and amazing.
• I also find myself blogging more and more about teenagers, since my adorable children are morphing daily into this phase of life.

So welcome, and for those who haven't met Stephanie at Diapers and Divinity, go visit!  She has some amazing insights and ideas on the upcoming general conference for our church.  I think I read last week that it is one of her favorite holidays.  (See here and here for ideas and see here for the Find A Friend post featuring our family.)

And Happy Fall to everyone!  With October just a few days away, colored leaves are sure to be right around the corner.

What I Learned in Family Home Evening

When I think I have creative ideas for Family Home Evening, I get excited to share.  I was looking forward to tonight and a discussion of preparing for general conference that is coming up this weekend.  As it turned out, there was a learning moment in this discussion for me as well.

I started by asking our children what they remembered from conferences past.

It was a bit chaotic, as usual.  Jeran, the resident actor/comedian, gave a version of a story he remembers from last conference that had us laughing.  He even fake cried for it.  (One of his secret talents...he's been able to do that since he was about 4 years old.  It's quite impressive.)

Then Joie told me what she remembered from conference.

Then Megan.

Then Gabby.

Then Nate.

As I listened, I realized the things they remember about general conference are the conference addresses we have reviewed as a family in subsequent Family Home Evenings.  Without exception, we have covered every address they remember.

It was another one of those humbling parent moments to realize those fidgety, restless, highly distracted and sometimes downright disruptive children of mine are actually (sometimes) listening in Family Home Evenings.

Ready for an example of how I, as a parent, would think that the things we discuss are actually not sinking in?  As I was summing up our lively evening with a challenge to prepare for general conference, I asked our children to think of things they need right now, and to pray about those needs and see how their prayers might be answered.  There was some confusion about this from the younger crowd, so I said (obviously without much thought), "If you could ask Heavenly Father for anything, what would it be?"


Gabby's instant response, "An iPod!"  


And Jeran's cryptic comeback, "He's God, Gabby.  Not Santa Claus."  


About then Tim skyped in (better late than never, right?) and in the excitement of skyping with dad, the challenge was lost...

Except that almost all of them have said something after the fact about keeping needs and questions in mind going into conference.  Yeah!  It worked!  (Although I think Gabby might still be holding out for the iPod.)

And tomorrow we won't be skyping with Tim, because he'll be home!!!

Sunday Sharing

I blog because I enjoy it, and until several months ago, I didn't even know there were google stats on my blog, but after learning how to check blog stats, I have been amused at some of the internet searches that bring people here.  The other day one of the searches leading to my blog was, "the answers to life's questions."  Scary, right?


I have three teens who, depending on the day, might tell you I know nothing.  In fact, sometimes I start conversations with them that way, just to avoid conflict.

Which brings me to make this announcement:

Note to teens and other would-be seekers to the answers to life's questions:  The answers to life's questions are not found on this blog.  

However, I do have to say that last night I found some really amazing life answers at an annual women's conference held by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

As of last night, I have a new favorite flower

Forget-me-not

In an address to women, Dieter F. Uchtdorf compared forget-me-nots to us, and presented five ideas to "forget not."  

My new favorite quote comes from President Uchtdorf, who reflected on his own thoughts about feeling forgotten when he was younger:  

"I was never forgotten, and I know something else...neither are you.  You are not forgotten.  Where ever you are, whatever the circumstances may be, you are not forgotten.  No matter how dark your days may seem, no matter how insignificant you my feel, no matter how overshadowed you think you may be, your Heavenly Father has not forgotten you.  In fact, he loves you with an infinite love."

As human beings, I think we've all felt "forgotten" at certain points in our lives.  In a world where it is easy to feel like just a number, I am so thankful that our Heavenly Father knows us and does not forget us.  In our moments of frustration and despair, if we turn to Him, He will whisper to us, "You are not forgotten," and we can know that our lives and individual circumstances do matter.