Last year we started a strange tradition--don't remember whose idea it was...I want to pin it on Susan because she had some good ideas, but I'm not sure, and it's possible this idea just evolved. Starting on Nick's birthday last year we went to the graves to have a birthday party. Nick's birthday last year was close to a month after Nick, Ruth and Audrey died, and we were all still feeling the loss and the need to be together. Susan, Skeeter, Lala, Monique, Max, and Tony travelled to Cedar Fort from Evanston and we had a birthday party for Nick with cake at the grave. A month later we did the same thing for Audrey, with fewer people. In June we did the same thing for Ruth, that time with April, Wynnie and Dylan, then fed horses afterwards in memory of Ruth. April was weirded out by celebrating a birthday in a cemetary... We fully acknowledged it wasn't your usual birthday celebration, but that it was Joie's tradition, so we do it anyway. Fast forward to this year. I wondered if we'd continue the tradition, and didn't say anything to Joie, not sure if she was just done with birthdays in the cemetary, or if she'd do it again. About a week ago she started planning her daddy's birthday. This time we called it a date, and she and I went alone...Nate and Jeran protested "eating cake in a cemetary." Of all the possibilities of cakes to choose from, Joie picked an oogley-eyed monster cake at Albertsons. It was even "crying." As usual, we left cake at the graves when we left, a piece for everyone. Joie remains unconvinced that spirits can't eat cake. Somehow it's always gone when we go back. I think there are either some really good neighbors or happy dogs in the neighborhood.
6 comments:
I wish I were closer so I could take part in some of these smaller not official events. keep up the positive attitude, and if spirits could eat cake I think Ruth Nick and Audrey would make it happen. I like this better than sending balloons up for them to catch. I like th balloon thing but. Cake is original, and we are an original family.
Mary, moments like this make me so thankful we chose you and Tim to be Joie's other parents. You are so wonderful to let her do things in her own time and in her own way. Thanks so much for that. I can't remember who came up with the idea either, but I was glad to be part of last year. Yes, we were two very original families, but now we are one thanks to Nick and Ru.
Yesterday I thought about all the people that never got to know them and realize how special they were. And as hard as this is, I'm thankful I did.
I love your picture. You are such a cutie!!!!!
I love your picture. You are such a cutie!!!!!
We have some very special friends that lost their baby boy 5 years ago , and each year they do this same thing. They have a birthday pary in their back yar swimming, cupcakes, and balloons. After cake and present everyone goes up to the cemetary, sings happy b-day and sends the balloons with notes written from everyone. They have 3 othe kids and this is something they look forward to every year a special day with baby Dalys. Memories are what keep us going what a special one you have all made. love jaci
Oh, I loved this post! And I have to agree with Aunt Susan...you are doing such a wonderful job. I am grateful for the love you have for and show her.
And DJ...I think you are wonderful and you look so beautiful. I was thinking about your Daddy on his birthday because that's my sister's birthday too. I am sure that he loved the party and the cake that you brought....but not as much as he loves YOU! :)
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