Big Sis, Little Sis

Every day of the past few months is an adventure.  Mostly, we're thankful for the ride.

Some days we're thankful for do-overs.


Big sis and little sis are especially thankful for do-overs because do-overs always end in fun, and no matter how messed up things get between them, there's nothing like bonding over Barbies and dress-up to heal the little tiffs.

Last week I drove the girls to school.  They were having a bad morning...lots of sibling angst.

I hate sending them out the door all stirred up.

By the time we got in the car one girl had apologized and calmed down.  The other girl hadn't.

As we drove into the school drop-off, the principal was standing out front at the cross walk with his stop sign.  He waved.  I smiled and waved back.

"They're all yours now!" (I thought it but didn't say it.)

One daughter got out of the car.

I stopped the other daughter from getting out of the car.


"Sorry," I said.  "I'll bring you back as soon as you calm down."

She wanted to get out anyway but didn't.

I was half surprised that she listened, and wondered what I would have done if she hadn't.  (Me chasing her down in my slippers and pajamas would have definitely made the list of embarassing mommy moments.)

I drove around the block.  As we drove we talked.  A new understanding filled the car, and she was ready for the day.

As I drove through the school drop-off the second time, the principal smiled and waved.  Again. 


Double take.

Yup.  Same mom.  Same pajamas.  But this time I was thinking how much I loved those girls and how lucky I was to be their mom.

Even if I had to drive around the block twice in my pajamas.

It was worth it when they spent that evening in dress-up heaven.

Thank goodness they can let things go.

Thank goodness for do-overs.


And so it goes, off and on, at least once a day, but as long as there are Barbies and dress-up...


Then yesterday we needed a big do-over.

Big Sis was upset over the focus of attention on her new little sister.

But nothing, and I mean nothing could convince her that every little thing didn't need to be a huge deal.

(Not even Barbies and dress-up could pull her away from being mad, mad, mad.)


We continued through the evening.  Everyone laughed, joked, grumbled over chores, gave mixed reviews over dinner...

Everyone but Big Sis.

That night my heart ached for her.  She was doing her best, but let's face it.  Being a sister is a tough job!


It was bedtime, and Big Sister still wasn't calming down.


The clammer of bedtime and chorus of "Mom...mom...mom..." faded into the background as I went into her room, not to say good-night but to attempt a repair.

An invitation to put on shoes and get in the car?  At bedtime?

A drive.  A treat.

And lots of talking.

Big Sis remembered another little sis who used to cry, poop, sleep, and get into her things.  Annoying!  


And Big Sis remembered that when that other little sister had arrived she also took all of mom's attention.

Mom fed her.

Mom changed her diapers.

Mom played with her.

And everyone thought she was sooooo cute!

But now that little sis is gone, and none of the yucky, annoying stuff matters anymore.  Instead Big Sis remembers the cute things her little sister used to say, and the funny things she did.

And how mom had enough love for both of them.

Thank goodness she remembers that because on that night she needed to know that this mom also has enough love for both girls.

And she loved hearing (through my tears) how her mom used to be the little sis, and how the big sisters in the family used to be bugged when the little sis didn't do what they wanted her to do...and how they all grew up and loved each other anyway.

And then one day the little sis was gone.  And all the big sisters still miss her every day.

Today when the big sis and the little sis bugged each other again, the big sis remembered that everything won't always be difficult.

And she remembered that big sisters and little sisters have their moments.

But they also have each other.

So she helped Little Sis with her homework instead of being bugged.

Yes!


And they all lived happily ever after...

Until the next tiff.


Sisters, sisters
There were never such devoted sisters.
...All kinds of weather, we stick together
The same in the rain and sun.
Two different faces, but in tight places
We think and we act as one...
("Sisters, Sisters" from White Christmas)