A Thankful Heart

Last Sunday afternoon and Monday I was in bed feeling sorry for myself.  It turns out pneumonia recovery takes longer than I thought...

And the air quality in the otherwise beautiful Salt Lake valley was the worst in the world this past week (even worse than in China, according to Jeran).

And everyone else was getting sick too.

Ever heard of the January blahs?  We had them (or at least I did).

Then Monday afternoon the phone rang.  It was someone from the Relief Society presidency (women's group in church) wondering if I'd teach the lesson on Sunday.  I almost started to say I couldn't do it, but something in my said, "This is the answer to the prayer that has been in your heart all week."  

The lesson?  Consider The Blessings, by Thomas S. Monson.  I read it, and thought about blessings, but still didn't feel very blessed.

 I read it again.  This time I thought I should try to pray for ways I could help people, even though I wasn't feeling well.

Through the week opportunities came.  One day a girl on Megan's basketball team needed a ride home.  My first thought was that I was too busy to take a few extra minutes to take her home, but then I remembered my prayer and knew it was one of those little things I could do.  As we drove her home and she talked about her family and her mom's work schedule, I was glad I'd listened...and glad Megan had such good friends.  I ended up telling her we could give her a ride any time, and I was the one who was blessed that day.  In just those few minutes my day turned around.

A few days later, Megan's team needed a meal after their games.  The team mom asked if I could help buy pizza for the girls.  I said I could, and as I was helping drop off pizza at the school, I started talking to the team mom and eventually we were talking about soccer.  We've been looking for a new team for Megan and Gabby, and the team her daughters play for (same ages as Megan and Gabby) sounded like what we were looking for.  Again, I served, but I was blessed.

And so it went, all week.  Me trying to be aware of blessings, and trying to be aware of opportunities to serve, even in small ways.  Then about mid-week, Nate (who has been out of wrestling since mid-January because of a torn ACL) came home with news that the entire wrestling team had to take the week off and couldn't go to tournaments because they had skin staph infections they had all contacted from wrestling mats somewhere.  I just looked at him, stunned, as the tears formed in my eyes.

"Nate," I said.  "Do you know what that means?"  

(Confused teenager expression in response...  I'm sure he was thinking, "It's just a week...  It's just staph...  Why are you crying?")

But in an instant, I was insanely grateful for his horrible wrestling season...the torn ACL, the disappointment about not wrestling, the trips to the doctor, the knee brace, the PT, the uncertainty about surgery...all of it.  Because all of that meant he didn't have staph.  And staph, or anything remotely connected to strep, is horrible for Nate.  A few years ago, after a long list of horrible health problems and complications, Nate was diagnosed with PANDAS, which, in a nutshell, means strep antibodies that are supposed to attack strep bacteria attack his neurological system (think rheumatic fever but brain instead of heart).  It was a long road to recovery, and one I'm sure could be shorter if he had to travel it again, but I don't want to find out, and I'm sure, neither does he.  (See here for long recovery story...not much of an explanation, but a little.)

All week since then, I've thought about how, when he was first injured, I hoped that something good could come out of this, but at the same time, I thought a lot more about how it seemed like Nate couldn't catch a break when it comes to good health, and (sadly) I was also a little put out at the inconvenience of all the doctor's appointments on my schedule.  All along God was steering, just like I'd first hoped, but it took a while to see His direction.

Then as the week wore on, I realized all that driving and carpooling Nate had been doing for me while I was in bed with pneumonia wouldn't have happened if he had still been in wrestling.

And we've loved the relationship we have with him again because he's home more, and getting to enjoy his humor and random insights...

And after the doctor thinking Nate would need surgery, we are finding out that he might not, which is great news.

It's all been a blessing...

So (note to self) keep calm and be thankful.

I'm feeling better and better every day.  I'm actually now only a little out of breath when I climb stairs.  Mostly I have enough energy for a day, and I've just finished four consecutive days of work, which is a record since January 1st when I first came down with the flu.

And even though it's dumping snow outside right now, it was almost 40 degrees today, and the wind before this storm blew all of the gunk out of the air and we woke up being able to see sky and mountains for the first time in almost a month...and cleaner air is in the forecast for this week.  I can already feel my lungs expanding.