Jaci and Jearame Hawks will forever be heroes in the life of Joie (
who is also DJ...aka Diana Jo Weaver Jarman...Joie.) So often we've wondered how it is that they came to be right where they were on the afternoon of August 18, 2007. It's a miracle. Really... Events that lead them to be
in that very spot at that very time. Literally, they were the hearts and hands of Ruth and Nick as they acted to protect Joie on the afternoon of the accident.
Because of their kindness, a little girl was not alone in her fear and suffering that day--the day the rest of her family lay lifeless at the side of a remote freeway in northern Utah.
Jaci told us later that their family had plans to go camping that day, but as the day unfolded, one thing after another got in the way of their plans. Jeareme, who was fixing fence, got a flat tire, and instead of camping, they were working to get two vehicles home after repairing a flat.
As they drove across the overpass on a remote section of freeway near Howell, Utah, where they lived, they weren't prepared to see the cloud of dust and destruction in front of them. At the same time they had been driving home, Ruth, Nick, Joie, and Audrey were driving to be with family in Idaho. Without a warning, the tire on Ruth and Nick's truck blew, sending them into the median, and then into the path of an oncoming semi truck on the other side of the median. The semi truck and what remained of their truck came to rest on the opposite side of the road.
For a week after the accident, that is all we knew. We knew nothing of the kind family who had been there with Joie. Our minds filled with images of Joie laying alone and helpless on the side of the road. We didn't know what she had felt or heard or seen, or how long it took for help to arrive from the nearest hospital.
Then a letter came in the mail.
"We just wanted you to know we were there with DJ..."
With those words we came to know the Hawks family.
Jearame later told us that as he approached the scene, he knew instantly Ruth and Nick were dead. He went to little Audrey's side, and she too was lifeless. He then saw movement in the distance as Joie tried to sit up, and he ran to her side. Later he told us he was at her side before the truck even stopped moving. Jaci started a DVD for her girls in their car and within minutes had joined Jearame. Someone thought the truck was going to catch fire, so they moved Joie away from the scene, and comforted and soothed her in their own truck while they waited for the ambulance to arrive. Passers by were slowing down and viewing the devastation and bodies at the side of the road, and Jaci and Jearame, acting out of love and respect for the parents of Joie, used blankets from their own truck to cover Ruth and Nick's bodies.
How is it that the very people who would be there that day were a couple almost the same age as Ruth and Nick, with little girls close to the same ages of Joie and Audrey?
"We just did what we would have done for our own girls," they told us.
But on that day, the little girl they held in their arms and comforted was a complete stranger.
And because two strangers who were passing by didn't hesitate to walk into that tragic and devastating scene, one little girl lived without the scars of being alone that day. Because of their protecting love, she didn't see the horrific scene from which she had somehow escaped. Because of their understanding of how to talk to her and soothe her, she remained calm until help arrived. Because of them, what could have been horrific for Joie was cushioned in love and kindness.
Later the Highway Patrol told us that the accident scene was one of the most devastating they had seen in their careers, and certainly the trauma of that day didn't escape Jaci and Jearame. I still reflect with tears of gratitude on scars they have carried forward into their lives because of having experienced that day. They aren't ones to dwell on the scars, but they know, as do we, that some things you just don't forget. But because they walked into tragedy with love, their actions have forever shaped the life of one little girl...
And the countless other family members who will forever be thankful that they were there when others who loved Joie couldn't be.
We can't begin to count the people who reached out during that difficult time.
Jearame and Jaci weren't the only ones who stopped. We'll never know how many people were there helping that day.
Others called.
Others helped us all get where we needed to be.
Others took care of our children. (I remember about two years after the accident talking to my children about where they had been those days I was at the hospital with Joie. I didn't even know. But they did, and they knew they were surrounded by warmth as well.)
Others took care of Ruth and Nick's house and their horses.
Others sent gifts and cards.
Others called and brought food to feed the small army of family members that had gathered at our house.
Others cheered us and made us laugh.
Others comforted us and held us while we cried.
Others took time to listen.
Others took time to help.
Joie's classmates made signs expressing their sadness at her loss that were hanging on fences as we pulled into the church for the funeral.
Others wore purple to the funeral in honor of a little girl who wanted everyone to wear something purple for her that day.
Others helped with logistics.
One neighbor made it a point to write down the names of my childrens' teachers when class lists were posted that week.
Everyone, everywhere was reaching out.
And because of those small acts of kindness, our loss was also cushioned in love.
And so it was that Random Acts of Kindness Day was born...
A fitting tribute to the lives of Ruth and Nick, who also lived their lives helping others.
A few weeks ago, our family was discussing the question,
"What kind of life do we want to build as a family?" (We're just making sure our teenagers have a lot of eye rolling practice.) I was a little surprised they were all willing to take this discussion seriously. Their answers wowed me, and reflected their personalities. Joie's answer:
"A meaningful life--even if it gets hard you can still find good."
Jaci and Jearame will never know the end of the ripples of that act of kindness. Joie grows up in the wake of those ripples. We live in the wake of those ripples.
And who knew that those original random acts of kindness that comforted us in our loss would travel around the world?
But they have.
As of this post there are over 600 people attending our event via facebook, and hundreds of others who are joining us in other ways.
People are posting on the event page where they are from. Japan, Germany, Hawaii, Marshall Islands, Belgium...states all over the United States.
We'd love to have you
join in.
This afternoon my sister-in-law, Tawny, created a permanent facebook page that will remain where people can post their experiences of the Random Acts of Kindness day. We will work on making responses and experiences of Random Acts of Kindness into a book. (Please
join us there as well.)
We've also
added a tab to our blog specifically for Random Acts of Kindness posts.
Other ways to share: Email, link to us on your blogs, pin this event on Pinterest... Wow. All for one little girl.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
