An Unlikely Pair

The only family member you ever get to choose is your spouse.  

I often hear myself repeating that truth, both as a parent and as a therapist.  

You don't get to choose children, parents, or siblings...

An argument could be made that in adoption we choose our children, but that's a topic for another day.

Back to the sibling issue.  If you have siblings you know the cold, hard truth that certain sibling personalities click more than others.

And since Gabby joined our family it has been fully recognized that a 14 year old boy (almost 15 "in one month and one day," he reminded me today) and a 9 year old girl don't have a lot in common.

It could even be said on some days that they merely tolerate each other.

At the same time, even on the worst days, they both have a connection that can turn sibling angst into playful banter, and Nate is the only sibling who can correct Gabby on grammar or speech. 

But mostly they just tolerate each other. 

"He's weird," Gabby says of his choices in music, friends, clothing...just about everything.  

"Why don't you go play Bar-bies," Nate will frequently say to Gabby.  And he teases her unmercifully that "Justin Bieber isn't singing with his real voice,"  ...An accusation that almost certainly will draw cries of protest (and even occasional tears) from his little sister.   

But lately they've been bonding over a mutual love of backyard soccer.

This has been our backyard view for the past few days.

Today when Nate asked Gabby if she wanted to play, she came quietly to me and whispered (with a huge smile on her face) "He just asked me to play soccer with him!"  

Then a few minutes later I heard him tell her to go ahead and he'd meet her outside, and he came to me and said, "What did she say?"  When I told him, he smiled, and acted like he was just being nice.

But remember he asked her to play.

Who cares why.  They're bonding, and I'm thrilled.